Posted by Dinah on October 10, 2003, at 18:58:49
In reply to Re: The last post is the one that gives hope (nm), posted by Dinah on October 9, 2003, at 20:01:16
He really is great. :)
He said that what we usually say is perfectly fine, but to add the reminder that not all therapists are trained to handle transference well, and that if the therapist doesn't handle it well it's the therapist's problem not the client's. And for the client not to feel that they had done anything wrong or that their feelings were unacceptable.
He told me that his training was woefully lacking in transference issues. And that most of what he learned was through ongoing supervision which he is a big fan of. (He stopped short of saying whether he still seeks out supervision or has during the time he's seen me. Didn't want to freak me out I guess. I think I'm going to ask next week.)
He said erotic transferences have come up a few times in his career and he never terminated anyone for it. He just clearly laid out the boundaries and it was never a problem.
While I was at it, I also mentioned googling therapists, which my therapist thinks is no big deal. He says that's public domain and it doesn't bother him a bit. He says going through his trash, or following him or his family would be an invasion of privacy, but not googling. He mentioned some therapists didn't like that clients could find out their addresses, but he's got his on his receipts so he doesn't mind. :) I admitted that I drove by his house once, because he lives really close to me, and I wanted to see exactly how close. He was perfectly relaxed about that. He knew that I was upset about how close he lived to me and understood that I wanted to reassure myself. He said we hadn't run into each other yet, and I set him straight. I saw him a couple of times at stores, but made a run for it. (We explored that a bit.)
He had that really careful attitude that made me aware he was wondering whether to expect an impassioned declaration of erotic transference. lol. And was prepared to be low key and reassuring about it. But that wasn't necessary. :)
So I think we've covered most everything we've talked about here over the years.
Googling
Drive by's
Erotic transference
Meeting in publicIf I've missed anything, let me know and I'll work it into the conversation on a slow day. :)
Oh, and we've extensively covered mother/baby transference and dependence in the past. He's grown tremendously as a therapist in those areas. :)
I'm so happy my therapist is who he is. :)))))))
poster:Dinah
thread:266267
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030925/msgs/268034.html