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Re: Thank you!My next session's going to be a big one! » HannahW

Posted by Pfinstegg on September 17, 2003, at 9:18:08

In reply to Thank you!My next session's going to be a big one!, posted by HannahW on September 13, 2003, at 22:34:10

Thank you for such warm words, Hannah. Actually, I feel that I have you to thank; it has been such an insightful discussion of all the painful feelings and rapid changes of feelings which go into the tranferences- the real things that we experience with our therapists. Even though we all know that they come from similiar experiences deep in our pasts, the feelings are absolutely in the here and now- we need to experience them with our therapists, and, if things go well, begin to find ways to accept and integrate them better, as we have a new and better experience of our therapists truly accepting ALL the different parts of us.

I hope it won't be upsetting to you if I say this, but I have been getting the impression that YOU may have more insight into the complexities of this process- as it relates to you and her- than she does. This might not be true of her and another client, and I';m not sure if it's true of the two of you, either; the suspicion that it might be does come to my mind, though.

You and she are just beginning; it will be months before your relationship has really deepened. I do think "fit" is very important between client and therapist. Having had a bad fit with my previous therapist, I interviewed four before deciding on the one that I have now. Because I live in a large city, I was able to interview psychoanalytically-trained therapists, and was amazed at the greater depth of knowledge and understanding of the interpersonal aspects of therapy which they have.

You have tremendous understanding and sophistication about what's going on- you could say a beautifully functioning left hemisphere! But the parts of you which are causing you pain and distress are not those high-functioning parts, and you want to be sure you have a therapist who is highly trained in helping you deal with those parts. Once you do know that, you will be able to deal with whatever needs to come up- but in your own time- when YOU are truly ready.

Pfinstegg


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