Posted by DaisyM on September 17, 2003, at 0:48:14
In reply to Re: Putting son first... » judy1, posted by fallsfall on September 16, 2003, at 21:21:16
Hi, Judy.
I have been lurking out here for awhile...gathering support quietly. But when I read your post I had to respond...
My son entered therapy last year -- he is 11. He started "skipping" school due to stomach aches and eventually had full on panic attacks. The school didn't know what to do, but I was lucky to be put in touch with a GREAT CBT counselor. It definately got worse for awhile and now ebbs and flows. Paxil has helped but so has biofeedback and the ability to "recognize and admit" when stress is present. That is the good news. The bad is that all the guilt I felt over not tuning in to all of this earlier, not knowing what to do about it myself and then, putting my kid on meds...well, I ended up in a deep, dark, terrible, lonely depression myself. That was 5 months ago and it is a long road back. I'm a typical over-achiever, a child-development specialist (M.A.) and run a pretty successful company. Not knowing how to fix my own child was beyond distressing. Oh, and I have another child with diabetes...and there is (was) guilt about those genes too. I think it is just natural that we want to protect our children from pain and fear and this isn't something you can kiss and put a band-aid on. I am learning that I must take of myself in order to take care of my family. I'm working on this...it is really hard for me because I am so use to taking care of everyone else and "fixing" things. I've been in therapy "just for me" since May and sometimes I feel like I've entered an alternate universe, both with my own process and my son's. One of the hardest things was for me to trust my son's therapist...again a learning experience. I encourage you to meet with your son's T as much as you need to and sit in on sessions occasionally. Be prepard to answer questions honestly though! Therapy is as hard for kids as it is for us. I love the fact that my son's T has email -- I can send quick notes with questions. I sometimes wish mine did but ultimately I'd probably end up driving him crazy...I like to write! Ok, enough for now. Please feel my support. I've been there--am there --and I'm out here for you!
DaisyM
poster:DaisyM
thread:260691
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/260889.html