Posted by kara lynne on September 13, 2003, at 19:56:45
In reply to Self-hate attacks.., posted by Tabitha on September 13, 2003, at 19:27:59
I think it's common for personal growth to be followed by fear. It's a threat to the old self, or something like that. At least that's what I hear.
I think there's a lot of emotion attached to our 'stuff'. I mean people get pathological about it, pack rats and that whole syndrome. Coming to terms with your lifelong shopping habits is major stuff. Last night I was in a department store with a friend and there was this flurry of endorphins and madness, followed by great fatigue and huge let down--replete with self recrimination. I realized there was not one thing in that store, that even if I truly needed it, would make me feel better when I got home and woke up the next day. And it's true. I don't want anything in that department store (although I could certainly fool anyone watching me). I want love and closeness-- to feel like I'm valuable and have something to give, and to find my expression in the world. I haven't found that department yet.
It sounds to me like you are doing great work.
poster:kara lynne
thread:259753
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030905/msgs/259762.html