Posted by Morgen on July 27, 2003, at 2:32:02
In reply to Transference Crisis, posted by Morgen on July 26, 2003, at 1:32:04
I got so incredibly lonely tonight, I actually called to listen to my therapist's voice mail. I have NEVER done this before. I felt horrible about doing it in the first place, because it reminded me of how I used to call my ex's cell... just for a little comfort... I figured I was doing more damage by giving in to my transferential inclinations.
But I couldn't resist.
But when I did call... guess what... I _was_ comforted, but not the way I had expected -- not the way listening to my ex's voice on the phone used to comfort me (though it also upset me at the same time). I was comforted because listening to her voice made me remember who she is! Something about it clicked in my brain and made my feelings of loss subside quite a bit.
Then I remembered that even though I feel very affectionate toward her outside of session, when I'm actually sitting there with her, my feelings for her are not in the forefront. Somehow, her absence and the thoughts I process after session is where there really strong transference feelings start to come up.
I called her voicemail two more times tonight... just to remind myself of who she is... which inevitably reminds me of what a good therapist she is.
Maybe I will be able to see her again after all
Does anyone else feel the main "crush" emotions in the therapist's absence, and experience these emotions subsiding while in session? Just wondering.
poster:Morgen
thread:245412
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/245756.html