Posted by Morgen on July 22, 2003, at 10:52:39
In reply to Re: Not Forever therapy (very long) » Morgen, posted by Penny on July 21, 2003, at 13:03:24
Penny -- Thank you very much for your post, I've read it several times. I think you are a little more loved by your therapists than I am by mine, but I do know mine cares. That's clear. Its strange to read about the huge variation in the connections between those who post here and their therapists. I may not have my therapist's cell phone or home (actually, that I do, but only because she called me once from home and I have caller ID. She's pretty safe though -- I wouldn't intrude that way if I were standing on the ledge of a bridge with a cell phone in my hand listening to her voice message machine) but I know she would never (barring something neither of us have yet imagined) fire me. I'm a little shocked to read about the experiences of some here who have been fired for doing something "bad" or going through a difficult time. I remember worrying about this a long time ago and bringing it up with her, and she said it would be unethical for her to fire me (nor would she want to, she added).
I agree with what you say about the word transference not fitting. I've heard the perspective that we can't really love someone we don't know... but I don't know, I think its enough to love someone for how well they do their job: their high degree of professionality, the way they meet your needs and make you feel safe, the way they are accountable, the way they fail to give up on you.
On the other hand, I had a really good session yesterday and talked about a lot of important, related things, but despite that I still freaked out last night and ultimately sent out a very angry email at about 12:30. I suppose because anger was one thing I hadn't talked about. Then at 4a.m. I had a case of emailer's remorse. The whole thing was very ridiculous and I'm feeling quite stupid. But it made me re-examine "transference," because I haven't felt that much anger (maybe even mixed with a little hate) since I broke with my ex, triggering the reason I went into therapy in the first place. It feels really ugly to hate someone you love so much, and who you know doesn't deserve it (my ex deserved it, my therapist doesn't).
poster:Morgen
thread:220332
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030711/msgs/244233.html