Posted by Dinah on February 28, 2003, at 14:54:52
In reply to Re: Weird therapy session » Ginjoint, posted by Tabitha on February 28, 2003, at 14:27:09
My therapist is always totally honest with me re his feelings about me (or anything else I ask about), although he is amusing in his attempts to put the best possible spin on it. He's relatively revealing about his life as well. And you're right, it does sometimes cause me to take care of him, or shift the focus from me. But the upside is that I feel I can trust him, within limits of course. The limits being that I never forget that his "caring" is bought and paid for. If I ran out of money, or he decided to go out of the business or move, I wouldn't get a second thought.
Overall, I've been pretty happy with the arrangement despite its drawbacks. Because I don't have to wonder what he's thinking. But then again I spend probably too much time worrying about whether he finds me unacceptable in some way. And we're working on that.
The clarity I thought I saw was that you seemed to be unhappy with her style, given the surprises it hid. And that you had previously questioned this therapy's worth.
I realize it could just be shock and hurt. And if she is a skilled clinician she will make repairs at the next session, and maybe the trust can be deepened on both sides.
As far as the questioning your perceptions is concerned, have you told her how it bothers you? It's been my experience that therapists prefer to put a positive spin on things. I'll bet she doesn't challenge your perceptions in the negative direction. But if you tell her how it makes you feel, she should take the effort to discuss it from a different angle.
I've never really understood the blank slate idea. I mean I suppose it has its benefits, but it leaves so much room for misunderstandings. Even with my therapist's style he sometimes doesn't ask questions when he doesn't understand, or he'll think he understands but doesn't. If they're totally unrevealing about what they're thinking, how are misimpressions on both sides supposed to be addressed?
I don't know Tabitha. You've been relatively happy for a while with her, and this might just be a blow up to clear the air. Or it may be a sign that you need to move on. How she handles it at the next few sessions will tell you a lot.
Let us know how it goes?
poster:Dinah
thread:203905
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030203/msgs/204737.html