Posted by fuzzymind on February 13, 2003, at 10:21:17
In reply to Re: Yes, that is a great metaphor. Thanks!, posted by noa on February 10, 2003, at 17:36:08
don't think this is true dissociation either--maybe it would be better to call my loss of time due to self-numbing avoidant behavior(often with help from computer games) "pseudo-dissociation".
>My favorite form of self_medication.....computer games.
> A young relative of mine seems to have what I call an associative/dissociative regulation problem. Sometimes she spaces out a lot and gets into her own dream world, seeming to lose touch with those of us around her, but she also has too much association going on sometimes--her mind is always leaping from one idea to other interesting-but-very tangential ideas. It is fascinating to see how she thinks, but also annoying because often she can't stay on topic and have a focused conversation. So it is not just that she DISsociates but also that she OVER-associates, as well, which makes me think there is some kind of regulation ability that most people have and she doesn't have enough of, to kind of balance the system out.I was able to put up some type of dissociative shield, or duct tape, during high school and most of college. Unfortunately, the shield has worn down and now I am completely exposed. Being 'protected' all those years wasn't helpful, because I was never able to get help for myself. Yet, I was able to cope, barely. Senior year of college, reality crashed through that protective ewall, and my life completely unravelled. I either wish I had put up that protective defence longer , so I could start life. Or that the wall never existed, and I could have acknoledged the problem early on. SYnthesis didn't exist for me until too late. Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, harsh self-doubt, avoidance...all swirling around. SYnthesizing all these thoughts and emotions earlier in my life could have saved my life.
poster:fuzzymind
thread:2464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030203/msgs/200073.html