Posted by Alara on January 30, 2003, at 2:52:30
I'm not doing too well at work this week. After coming off 0.5mg of Xanax over the weekend, my ability to cope with stress at work plummeted and I became extra sensitive about being ignored by two of my colleages. I approached my boss and asked her whether there was anything in general that she had noticed about my recent behaviour that may have offended other team members. (Stupid paranoid move!) She insisted that I was absolutely lovely and that I was a breath of fresh air around the place. The next day the two people who had been ignoring me suddenly became friendly again, so I asked my boss whether she had mentioned anything, to which she said no. She also insisted that nobody could have overheard our conversation as it took place after hours when most people had left. Of course, I berated myself for being too sensitive but have been feeling completely paranoid ever since.
To complicate manners I've been coming home and drinking alcohol every night (as I am trying to completely cut out the Xanax) - so I have arrived at work over the last couple of days completely hungover, looking and feeling absolutely dreadful.Now my head is filled with depression, anxiety and paranoia. I can't seem to get through my tremendous workload..We are chronically understaffed and it is obvious that I am not doing my share. I take around 60 phone calls a day in addition to doing a lot of admin follow up. As a result, I can't seem to get through my main job - processing thousands of mundane, repetitive orders before sorting out all the logistic problems that remain at the end of the day. There are also around 100 faxes a day to sort through in my intray; most of these require follow up. The computer runs too slowly and I spend half my time waiting for the screen to change so that I can take the next step in the process. I am told that everyone else is getting through much more work than this.
I know that I should consider myself lucky to have a job and I like to tell myself that I am just having a bad week. But I swear that this week my brain has left me and that it is impossible to disguise the fact that I have a mental illness. (When stress kicks in, my anxiety goes out of control - and from there on my mood plummets.)
I sat extensive psychometric tests to secure the job. While I was honest on 98% of the personality questions, I did fib a bit about having a predisposition towards feelings of depression and paranoia. (I desperately needed a job and would not have got through had I been completely honest.) I only admitted to being of a highly strung, anxious nature.
Just a few questions here:
Can an employer fire me for mental illness, using the excuse that I have periods of incompetency?
Can I be fired if I am forced to undertake a psychiatric evaluation which reveals that I suffer from depression? (This would prove that I lied on some of the test questions.)
I know that I am being utterly paranoid but I'm an anxious, depressed mess at the moment and cannot think clearly.
Thanks for putting up with the long vent!
Alara
poster:Alara
thread:2347
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021230/msgs/2347.html