Posted by alexandra_k on January 27, 2019, at 17:18:07
In reply to clash, posted by alexandra_k on January 25, 2019, at 23:21:21
because i see they try the exact same thing on with the junior doctors. come out the end of your degree and then you are supposed to take just one more year before you can apply for specialist training. only, i think maybe it is actually just one more again. so two more years. but actually no, i think there is just one more other year that you need to do as well before you can apply to specialist training. so that's three years. just three more years after your one year. and you practically will be the head of the unit! the most senior person in the whole hospital! after just 3 years of workign in the hospital after finishing your degree. you will be practically an orthopedic surgical consultant! insoar as your people can tell. and it's because of your sheer and utter brilliance that you got all the way there when you are only, like, 23 or 24 years old.
i do understand.
i suppose i am learning, doing this.
i suppose i am learning stuff i will likely need to return to.
because mostly here is a culture of bullies. that is the kiwi way. if you don't know the procedure for standing up to the bullies then it is impossible.
i cry at the opportunity cost to new zealand of things being the way they are... hierarchical and competitive and people taking what htey can when tehy can at other peoples expense if at all possible. i suppose i appreciate that most places are mostly like this. there are little pockets... little pockets of things being different. often only temporary because psychopaths infiltrate and ruin things for everyone. but sometimes there are clever systems. i guess that's partly what good administrative law is. we don't really do law, here.
if i don't hear back from the VC's within 3 working days to say what procedure they are following and when is reasonable for me to hear back then I need to go to the Ombusdman. I don't know after that...
Seeing about moving back to Auckland in temporary accommodation. I suppose I will need to get used to that. Because they ship you various places for sections.
Living with others temporarily could be good if there is a common ends. But people tend to be hierarchical and competitive and constrantly trying to get another to give up their own ends and be a slave towards them obtaining theirs.
So...
__________
It is jealousy. Just get it done and get out.
And it was jealousy I felt before... Why I didn't want to be friends with the people who were doing Med.
I didn't like that in myself - I didn't anything nasty to them or mean to them or intentionally cold or dismissive or whatever...
It's just...
Well...
Back to that thing, again. Like how I used to smoke really rather a lot. And I realised that anybody who I might potentially want to be with (as in a good life partner) would not want to be with me / would not be attracted to me / would not like me. Because anyone... Worthy? I guess... Would not be able to be close to someone who was so obviously self-loathing / self-destructive.
Who would want to be my friend when I'm being continually failed and denied and declined and kicked back and so on...
Who could handle that?
I don't mean in small doses...
But generally, the only people who have wanted to be closer to me in more recent years are people... Vultures. Circling the carrion...
I need to remember... When I feel sad for / sorry for these people and I feel tempted to slow down and help them...
If they situation was reversed they would not look back.
If they see opportunity to kick at me, they will take it, with glee.
Minimse time spent.
Act professionally.
Don't treat your 'friends'.
YOu wouldn't be sufficiently 'objective' and so they would probably be worse off.
I see.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1102325
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20181106/msgs/1103007.html