Posted by john2009 on June 2, 2009, at 19:18:59
In reply to Anergic Deppressive, posted by CleverGuy on October 31, 2005, at 23:56:39
Sorry for bumping such an old thread. This is for "cleverguy" but I can't pm for some reason.
I'm writing this on the outside chance that you're still active here. By chance I came across your very old post from 2005:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20050601/msgs/573992.html
What you describe is EXACTLY the hole I'm in too. Like you, a lot of the descriptions of ADD/depression relate to me and, like you, I've been frustrated with the fact that for me these aren't symptoms (lack of motivation, etc), they are THE CAUSE. How can I explain to the "concerned people" how broad and non-selective my lack of motivation and irrational inertia is? Am I still lazy when I don't even do the things that I enjoy? Not because I don't WANT to like in a "depressive" sense, and not because I won't get any joy out of doing it, but just because...I don't. In fact I suck every last bit of enjoyment out of what little I DO do because its such a f*ck*ng accomplishment. Do they think I enjoy wasting my life in front of the tv? Do they think I choose to constantly lose contact with people? Or that I choose not to just get a screwdriver and tighten that one little screw thats causing my side-mirror to flap uselessly around on my motorbike even though it bugs me EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Anyway you get the point I won't carry on, especially since I know that your post from 2005 was most probably written, like this one, on the back of some temporary drug-fueled motivation and you've never been back.
I'm 27, the same age as you were at that time, so you know what my life is like. I want to know if you've found any answers to this fundamentally simple bitch of a problem and if not, how the f*ck you are coping, because man I've read a lot of personal reports on ADD and depression and such but none of them hit the mark like yours did.
Thanks
John
poster:john2009
thread:573992
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/newbs/20080507/msgs/899109.html