Posted by karen_kay on November 16, 2008, at 8:40:15
i'm working now. i walk for 8 hours a day. i push a heavy cart around. i lift heavy parts. last time i saw my dr, she wanted to weigh me to make sure i was above 130 before refilling my meds. i was at 133 (with steel toed boots on, it was my first day) my bp was SKY HIGH. i might be dying. wait, i always think i'm dying. let's continue..
i can't eat at work. i'm scared to. what if i feel draggy? what if i have to (shhhhhh, i don't want to say this out loud) go number 2? (i do have issues, you know!) i can't do THAT at work!! what if someone hears me? let's move on...
i drink ensure at work, the kind to help you gain weight. i went from 133 to 121 now. oh yeah, i've also added a cliff bar. and my coffee consumption has been cut back considerably. one cup in the morning, a thermus at work, then water the rest of the day.
what to do, what to do?
it's like i'm scared to eat....
BUTTTTT!! i am eating more when i get home (pats my own back). i eat dinner and sometimes second helpings too. but, i'm still losing weight.
GRRRRR!!! i worry too much, right? it's jsut that i've got these BIG nasty bruises all over my arms and legs from hitting my own grocery cart, i fear people at work might think i'm anorexic (did i spell that right?) and when they ask if i'm eating, i always say 'i'm watchign my carbs' or i need to fit into my prom dress' or somethig stupid like that so they'll leave me alone..
i HATE anxiety!!!!!
sooooooooooooooooo, go BALL STATE!!!!! oh yeah, and i've looked into that weight gain 3000 crap, but i don't want huge muscles (not that i'm not lookin all buff and stuff already :) man, i'm lookin buff!). i just want to be healthier.
what to do, what to do, other than take 4 klonopins and call a cute dr in the morning..
any helpful advice that i'll actually follow? and please don't tell me to eat a cheeseburger. :)
thanks y'all!
kk
poster:karen_kay
thread:863329
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/health/20080428/msgs/863329.html