Posted by Lindenblüte on November 15, 2006, at 21:24:07
In reply to Going to go to get me some Dharma, posted by Lindenblüte on November 14, 2006, at 23:21:24
Thanks for your warm wishes gardenergirl,
There were some nice moments during the talk, when I was like aha. I get it, and that was a nice feeling. And I DID stay for the meditation. It was okay. I didn't feel socially awkward, but I had a really hard time finding my breath.
I also remember the disorientation and terror that made me stop meditating in the first place. I had been practicing daily meditation for about 2 months- sometimes guided, sometimes on my own, sitting at home. I got to a place where I had to acknowledge overwhelming emotions. The kind of meditation I practice is not about self-hypnosis (although I do tend to go in that direction!) or repression. So, I am forced to recognize and acknowledge. To hold this feeling like a baby and just watch it and see what it is trying to tell me. And it was really scary. I think it takes a lot of bravery to really learn to pay attention to oneself.
I remember the teaching that was so useful to me at times- when I feel pain, I should shift the focus of my awareness to the pain. To really examine it, listen to it. Watch it. Be with it. Sometimes the pain is wrapped in so many layers that when we lay it bare, it's really nothing more than raw nerve fibers.
Your Kundalini practice sounds interesting- remember that you can participate at many different levels, and to pick what feels right for you. Faith is a way to make your life richer, more meaningful. It should not be a source of pain and stress more than a way to heal it.
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:703557
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20060614/msgs/704104.html