Posted by TF on January 1, 2004, at 22:32:48
In reply to Re: Why Live?, posted by simus on January 1, 2004, at 16:05:04
I have so much trouble praying. It's not unwillingness so much as it is my lack of abstract thought. When I'm writing here, or anywhere for that matter, it seems a miracle to me that I can communicate with even the slightest bit of coherence. The middle man (my mind, internal censor) is completely silent and the words/phrases/ideas just come straight out of the void. Thats kind of amazing to me.
The way I was always accustomed to praying was to think of the words silently in my own mind. Nowadays they slip from my memory as soon as they appear, and leave little impression. I guess writing is different because it gives me an opportunity to get my thoughts out before I forget them. It just doesn't feel right for me to pray that way, though. And everytime I try to pray it seems so artificial, like I'm trying too hard. Same with writing, actually.
I have trouble understanding your reasoning on God. How can he not be responsible for my condition? He instigated the creation of the universe and the lives of every man. How can he know the future, how all things will end if everything that happens wasn't anticipated when He first set time into motion. If He doesn't know and/or accept the consequences of His own machinations, then how can we call Him omniscient? Either He is or He isn't. You can't have it both ways, I don't think.
I'm not blaming God or saying that He did something wrong. I believe that He did the best He could with the cosmic rules, as He saw fit to make them. If this is what's best for me and everyone else in the world, then that's my lot. I should take it with dignity. Maybe I've served my purpose? (no, that's not a suicide threat :P )
poster:TF
thread:294884
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030908/msgs/295576.html