Posted by Temmie on August 27, 2003, at 19:23:36
In reply to re: Feeling Better: : great !, posted by lil' jimi on August 27, 2003, at 18:50:22
Oh Dear.
I WAS feeling better until picking up a few things in Jared's room, and finding an "I can't believe it's over" letter he'd written to his girlfriend. He talks about never believing, never knowing he would find happiness .... And, coupled with other things said, I wonder how he's going to do so far from everything he's ever known ... (maybe, with me out of his life, just great!) ... and separated from the only one who, according to what he's said, ever brought him any joy.
I don't know when the distance began. When I first felt the shift from his loving me ... to feeling he was disgusted with me. His dad was disgusted with me, too, after telling him that I'd shared with Jared the story of Paul's substance abuse.
"How's he supposed to look up to you, or know what kind of choices to make in life, when you're modeling such a poor example? He needs stability in his life, and a mother to look up to .... You should have poured the booze out, or taken it away. What kind of mother are you? He needs to get into counseling, right away .... I'm going to have to fly out and straighten him out ... march him right over to the counseling center in student health services ...."
Rapid fire .... I've gone from feeling elated ... to heartbroken. What's THAT all about? Am I bipolar? Can people cycle between mood extremes that fast? I just took a Xanax to calm down ....
:-(
I should have gone home and prayed, as I'd planned to do when writing from the library. I guess I'll be busy with that tonight.
Thanks for listening,
Temmie
poster:Temmie
thread:254800
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030530/msgs/254852.html