Posted by habbyshabit on August 25, 2003, at 10:31:26
In reply to re: satori and sunyata, posted by lil' jimi on August 24, 2003, at 15:58:50
hello Jimi,
Empirically speaking, the word sunyata came to mind as the mind itself began engaging my awareness after that sudden lapse into nothingness. I wasn't sure what it meant myself so I looked it up google wise and without reading much saw that emptiness and shunyata were used together.
I really don't care what it's called, though it does help in describing an experience never quite encountered before, to have a word that has connotations my friend Jimi might recognize. It just popped in the old brain hopper. Perhaps just the mind, as you say, wanting to dissect and catagorize the experience into it's dualities for the purpose of, what, comfort? Ego aggrandizing?
What I do know, from an empirical standpoint, is that this whole discussion of faith dying died in my mind after that. It doesn't seem to matter what the grey matter is doing. The mind (not physical in this sense ) seems for now content to not have an answer, to wander the earth with out a God or religion or supernatural friend/mentor/teacher.
Will this last? Is this just the exhaustion of excessive neurologic firing? Is it the bipolar in some sort of limbo? Is it satori? Is it all of the above - the co-origination and mutual interdependance of all things arising simultaneously. I'd vote for the latter.
Please, Jimi, don't tread lightly around my bipolar neurology. I've been living with it for over 30 years and get testy when treated like I'm some fragil thing with eggshells scattered around my feet.
Yes, my neurology played some role in that experience of nothingness. Maybe it was a marker of the "switch" manic-depressive wise, although gradual progress was happening already. Maybe I "stumbled" onto a Buddhist-like experience because of the mental strain of trying to make sense of all things in my mind - no faith, delusional husband, a changing bipolar condition, etc. and all of the above arising simultaneously in a interdependant relationship!
(Manjushri - bring wisdom to my words, make me sound smart!!!)
Speaking of arising simultaneously... what a lucky boy, your four year old is, to have a retired daddy! Congratulations also on 17 years married to an angel. You must have lived a very good life!
I really appreciate all the words you have written in response to my experience and they have helped steady the rocking boat. It's seems this short post gives short shrift to all you have had to say. Please know that every single word, interdependantly arising (I tease now you know), has left it's mark on my consciousness.
I may be back with more - the topic of brain vs mind is a loaded one.
Hab
poster:habbyshabit
thread:251864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030530/msgs/253847.html