Posted by habbyshabit on August 18, 2003, at 13:59:01
This is creepy. Where did it go? Oh, I have all kinds of philosophical ideas and metaphysical notions about the nature of the universe and the divine light of Being. Of our own divine sparks within. Now they all seem like just another story. Every religion has their own version of the story of creation, divinity, and how to find and manifest that divinity in ones life.
After my last foray into the Mormon Church to understand their story - it hit me. I know too many stories. Seen too much faith in too many different stories. I've also read the perrenial philosophie that is supposed to unite all these stories. That just seems like another story.
It faith that makes each story come alive. Faith is belief, trust and strong conviction - not based on fact. If someones faith allows them to see their story come true, then could it not be a delusion of the mind, a placebo effect.
Gosh, have I become anostic? will I be banned for not having faith?
All I know now is that life is a tempory miracle/suffering, and then it's over. Be here now.
Is this the rant of depression, or what caused the depression? It's a horrible thing. I was soooo spiritual. Now I feel cut off from all those who have faith. Which is most every one.
Faith seems like a salve to suffering and a way to have community and be deluded out of suffering this world is all about. Oh yes, I see beauty too. There is much. Just part of the mix it seems.
I'm writing extemporaneously- a stolen moment in the day. But I've been lost in this loss of faith for months. It's nice to be knowledgable about many religious and spiritual traditions. I just can't believe it's lead me to this.
Stories....all stories that come alive with faith.
I don't mean to put anyone's faith down here. In fact at this point I envy it. I wish I could give myself over to one faith or another. To belong. I love humans.
Heart sick,
Hab
poster:habbyshabit
thread:251864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030530/msgs/251864.html