Posted by lil' jimi on July 10, 2003, at 15:25:11
In reply to Arlon's QA thread, get channeled!, posted by habbyshabit on July 7, 2003, at 3:37:09
hi Habby,
hi Arlon,hope you are doing well......
you guys wrote:
> Hi,
>
> Any questions that you might like Arlon to answer, please let us know.
>
> Habby and Arlonso here goes nothing!
(i apologize for the length of this post ... i found i could not shorten it ... ... it is the first time i have put into writing this significant part of my life ... ... i thank everyone for their indulgence in my therapeutically beneficial exercise in self-indulgence ... ... )
there have been a number of indicators seeming to guide me toward a particular spiritual path ... .... this process has taken a considerable amount of time ... ...
at 8 years old, i was disenchanted from theism and by 12, i was a self-possessed atheist ... ... at 18, i was disabused of my anti-supernatural views by experiences reminiscent of those described by Temmie, Mercury and you ... ... ... out-of-the-body experiences are forceful validations of the reality of life beyond death, which i could not deny ... ... a spiritual quest began .... ... . at 20, i discovered i was a buddhist ......
.... .... there is an expectation of benefiting from the blessings known as the Three Jewels of Buddhism: the Buddha; the Dharma; and the Sangha ... ... in this world one’s spiritual teacher represents the Buddha ... ... i could hardly call myself a buddhist without a teacher or a congregation (Sangha) ... so choosing which branch of buddhism would be best for me had began ... ...
... ... i was drawn to the Mahayana and the tibetan traditions, by the time i was 25 ... ... the major schools of tibetan buddhism are: the Gelugpa (the Dalai Lama’s own tradition), the Kargyutpa, the Nyingmapa and the Sakyapa ... ... my studies found the Nyingma tradition appealing and i sat around doing nothing about this for about 20 years, other than reading and meditating ... ... at around this time i developed my devotion to Manjushri ... ...
i had collected some texts about the indian saint Nagarjuna .... ... .... i had had “”Emptiness: a study in religious meaning”” by Fredrick J. Streng for 30 years, i bought Lindtner’s “”Master of Wisdom”” about 20 years ago, and then a 3rd volume i checked out of the library last summer ... ...
meanwhile a very close friend of mine who i’ve know for more than 30 years was working for local philanthropic social non-profit organization and became friends with some of the board members ... .. ... she began to tell me about one of them who had his own buddhist temple in his home .. ... .. this last info was greeted with my eyes rolling derisively at what this might imply ... ... ... then last summer she extended an invitation from the temple owners to a three week long event celebrating the rare visit of their Dharma Master and lineage title holder ... ... Pema Norbu ... ... then i received their reading recommendation: “”A Garland of Immortal Wish-fulfilling Trees”” ... ...
... ...(there is, of course, that familiar quotation ‘when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear’) ... ...
... ... in the library, ““Wish-fulfilling Trees”” was on the same shelf as “”Nagarjuna and the Philosophy of Openness”" by Nancy McCagney (1997)... ... my 3rd book to focus on Nagarjuna’s ““Fundamentals of the Middle Way”" ... ...
before i had begun to read them (finally!) i discovered online at the tibet government-in-exile web site (endorsed, of course, by h.h. the dalai lama) that ...
“The present head of Nyingmapa is His Holiness Penor Rinpoche”
(http://www.tibet.net/cta/nyingma.html) ... ... and that Pema Norbu IS Penor Rinpoche ...the momentum of these events, accelerating from their glacial pace into an avalanche, rekindled in me an exhilaration for spirituality i had shamefully lost ... ... i say ‘shamefully’ because it is inexcusable to ignore the great blessing we have been given with the certain knowledge that there is a life (are lives) after “death” ... ... to have been freed from the doubt about the hereafter does not deserve the disrespect of being ignored ....
to discover that the leader of the tradition i had chosen .... was coming on a world tour for the Namcho Space Treasures (see http://www.bodhi.org/Namcho/namcho.HTML), to a friend of friends’ temple .. ... only a few dozen blocks from my home ... ...
... ... by this point, just over a year ago, my close family and friends were ecstatic for me ... ... i scheduled my vacation time to go to the three weeks of activities ... ... i registered to participate at the temple and offered to assist with my tech skills ... .... nothing could be more clear than the inevitability of me beginning (finally) my path in earnest ... ... i was very happy ... ... the event would begin june 5, 2002 ... ...
... ... june 3rd i got the phone call from my sister who never calls me at work where she does not know my number ... ... i recognized her voice, as choked with emotion as it was, as she told me who she was and said. “well, i’m calling you at work, jim ...” and she broke into tears ... ...
... our mom was 81, a week away from her 82nd birthday ... dad was 83 1/2 ... ... they took a left turn across traffic heading into a parking lot for lunch ... ... they never made it ... ... the big utility-work truck broad-sided their car ... ... mom died there ... ... dad died after a week suffering in critical intensive care ... ... i flew to florida on june 4th ... ...
... ... the time my sibs and i had divided their property; me and a buddy flew to florida, rented a truck with my share, drove back to texas; attended memorial service in florida; attended the funeral at arlington national cemetery ... ... sent up this computer my dad used to use ... ...
... ... ... ... the imagined joy of my nyingma plans had been ... ... sidetracked ... ...... ... the juxtaposition of these events is so striking to me that some form of linkage seems/feels unavoidable ... ... i chose to not seek the council of my new nyingma friends, although i may eventually ... ...
(significantly, here in pBabble land, my parents’ deaths are the major contributors to my depression, which is being treated with 10mg of lexapro a day.)
so these events are the nexus of my:
spiritual issues;
depression issues;
and
medication issues.Habby your posts, and those from Temmie and Mercury have inspired this outburst from me ...
.... i thank you VERY much for this .Habby i would be deeply honored if you would take up my story with your Arlon friend(s) for me ... ... any insight about these circumstances will be greatly appreciated.
i also invite anyone else to offer their perspective on my saga ... ... every response will be appreciated!
thank you,
~ jim
poster:lil' jimi
thread:239810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/20030530/msgs/240633.html