Posted by Racer on October 16, 2006, at 12:45:11
In reply to A question on body image of others (trigger), posted by NikkiT2 on October 16, 2006, at 6:07:14
I'm not skinny at all anymore, and I hate it, but here's the best I can do on your question:
There are some obese people who do -- I don't know if "disgust" is the right word? But there are some obese people whom I don't necessarily look at charitably. They're not the "fat" people that one sees daily, though, and certainly not the average plump person. The ones that I am disturbed by have very uneven distribution of body fat, and are very, very obese. (I don't know if this is more common in America, it might be...) And it really does have something to do with how unhealthy it seems.
As for the subset of humanity who can be called "Plumper Than I Am," here's the really crazy part about my own ED-related body image distortion: most of the women I look at and think are stunning *are* considerably heavier than I am. In fact, there have been a number of women over the years I've thought of as just stunningly gorgeous who were/are probably technically obese. How's that for crazy?
For me, I don't think it's weight per se that affects my view of someone else. I also get upset by those people who seem to think that anyone overweight should never be seen eating -- although I do find myself upset when I see very obese children being fed triple-scoop ice cream cones. {shrug} That doesn't seem healthy to me. Someone who's heavy, though, eating a single scoop? That's OK -- everything in moderation, right? And I have a very unattractive attitude about truly huge people walking very slowly in front of me -- but I have the same sort of attitude about very skinny people walking very slowly in front of me. And average sized people walking very slowly in front of me. (Basically, if you're over 3 years old, and you're walking very slowly in front of me, this unattractive attitude is likely to kick in...)
Nikki, I think this is probably an awfully difficult subject, and I hope one day you and I will get a chance to talk about it over a glass or two of wine. (Or a Guinness?) I suspect you're asking because you're afraid that someone with body image problems might judge you by her/his own standards -- and that doesn't usually happen. (In fact, it seems as though a lot of anorexics seem to like other people to be a bit plump... Dunno why, but it seems like a real phenomenon.) I think there are some young girls who get off on being "anti-fat" in other people, but I haven't seen that in adults. (Except my mother, but she's nuts.)
And Nikki? You posted pictures of yourself -- very brave! -- and you're beautiful. I hope that you can see that, because you are truly beautiful, and don't need to worry about anyone who doesn't see that.
poster:Racer
thread:695231
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/695299.html