Posted by Racer on July 3, 2006, at 18:15:23
As some of you know, I've been struggling with infertility issues for a while now, and I've gone back to school this year, and I feel overwhelmed by life, and we have a new and much tougher marriage counselor, and I've gained 50 pounds in the past year and a half. (Well, OK, I gained the 50, then lost 10, but I haven't mentioned losing them to my T, and my insurance did an about face on covering the dietitian, so no one is weighing me these days -- except myself.) So, a lot going on, right?
Today I had an appointment with the fertility doctor, who talked about some more tests and then options for treatment after that. The bottom line is that the uncertainty is still there, and I'm not good with uncertainty. (Wow! Really?) Then I had therapy, and I admitted that one reason it would kinda be a relief for me to find out there was nothing more to do is that then I could lose the weight. I guess I hadn't said anything about that before to her, but I've been having more trouble than usual, and I *have* to lose some weight. I figure if I lose just a bit, then some of the anxiety will be reduced, but I'll still be healthy enough physically. I'm probably wrong, but that's my thinking, really.
My T said, "Well, that makes sense -- the rest of your life feels more and more out of control these days..."
Now, if someone else were talking to me, I'd see that. It's different, though, with me. It Doesn't Apply To Me! lol Typical, and I hear it a lot in group, too.
I dunno. I still think I have to lose weight, but I also know that I'm reducing my chances of conception by my current restrictive eating habits. {sigh} I'm certainly not eating as little as I was, and I'm eating more things, pretty much, than I was before. But I know I'm still not eating nearly what my dietitian said I needed to eat every day. I just don't know.
Anyway, I really hate it when my T points these things out to me. After all, I was fine obsessing about how I'd lose weight...
poster:Racer
thread:663821
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20060628/msgs/663821.html