Posted by alexandra_k on August 30, 2018, at 23:14:06
In reply to Re: alexandra, posted by ert on August 29, 2018, at 5:24:19
> > do you really think the quality of the database that dates back up to 20 years (that therapeutic value remains elusive and not proven) would diminish by deleting eg. this post
> > http://dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20151112/msgs/1099241.html
> > later on ?> you could be a troublemaker Alex. You blame tourists, politicians, even cities and more for the sake of your unstable and erratic inner self.
I think I hear you, Ert.
That is what I used to fear, yes. That someone may read one or more of my posts, here, out of context, and form a really bad opinion of me.
I don't have that fear, anymore.
I mean, people might do that, yes. But, I'm fairly sure, the people who would do that, would only find some other reason to do that, if they are determined.
I don't live in fear of them, anymore.
I used to be afraid that someone would read my more personal posts about my fears and shames and so on. That someone might try and use that sort of knowledge about me to try and manipulate me or trap me in some way. Again, though, if people are determined to do such things, they will find their way to do such things.
I don't live in fear of them, anymore.
There was something in something that I'm not allowed to talk about... Something... About isolation and shame. And it got me thinking. There was no time for thinking. But it got me thinking about how while there are many goods to privacy one of the potential bads to privacy is shame. Shame is a private emotion. Sometimes making public what once was private is a way of... Alleviating... That source of shame.
Babble provided a safe setting for me with (even if only an illusion) of anonymity. In the first place. I was so ashamed about so many things I couldn't bear to see anybody else because I would only see a condemnation in them projected from me...
That whole process of working through was theraputic for me.
I would feel sad if the archives here were gone.
They provide a record. An account. Of what I promised never to forget. To little me.
Sometimes I have read back through archives significantly... Mostly now that is a... Reminiscence... Well, it's time consuming and sort of distressing. If I feel like a good cry, well okay...
There is the potential that someone reads things and it helps them.
I think the boards might be better for having a little... Less of me in them. I feel bad for myself spamming everywhere... Now that the boards have less other people posting so frequently...
I think if people were to read a selection of my posts here they would find a decent human being. What do you guys think? I guess you know aspects of me pretty well. Do you think I'm a nut job and I'd make a horrible doctor - from what you know of me?
I guess it's hard because you don't know of me in that role, if that makes any sense...
But, yeah. I think more good than harm is likely to come from my posting here.
Anyone who doesn't know that people grow and develop and work through and so on... Well... They've got some of that to be doing themselves.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1100606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20151112/msgs/1100706.html