Posted by larry hoover on August 4, 2013, at 12:03:20
In reply to Re: Trying to practice what I've been preaching, posted by Dr. Bob on July 2, 2013, at 23:32:50
> Trying to practice what I've been preaching, I've reminded myself that misgivings about Lou aren't going to go away. They need continually to be battled. It might exhaust me and I might resent it, but success depends on my learning ways to cope and finding the energy to persevere.
> How much energy it takes me to battle posters' insistence gives me an idea of how much energy it takes them to battle Lou's insistence. I get weary and impatient and annoyed, too. I didn't sign up to go through the same old debates, iteration after iteration.
> Bob
So, how't that working out for you, Bob? It's a routine part of therapy to ask yourself if your behaviour is achieving the desired results.
Do you think engaging in battle (your own descriptor) is a useful and effective strategy?
Just a rhetorical question, for consideration. If you had banned Lou, whould you still be engaged in battle? Would we?
You're trying to think your way into a new way of acting. Of course, that is doomed to failure. You have to act your way into a new way of thinking. Do things differently, and then you'll naturally reassess them. If you do consider your new strategy of inaction to be a change in behaviour, are you satisfied with the results so far? Your language clearly suggests that the answer is no.
You did mention that you may need to change your expectations. I, however, would not use the word may.
Lar
poster:larry hoover
thread:1046098
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130702/msgs/1048276.html