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Re: feeling empowered

Posted by Dr. Bob on May 9, 2013, at 23:13:56

In reply to Re: Lou's warning-death and diabetes » Lou Pilder, posted by SLS on May 8, 2013, at 8:14:03

> Lou may express what some posters fear. What would reassure those posters who feel afraid?
>
> A reassuring statement could be developed and reused, for example:
>
> > Almost any drug will cause death if not managed properly. It is true that drugs in general can cause death. Psychiatric drugs are not unique in this regard.
> >
> > http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16294364

And:

> I don't [have doubts about whether medication saves lives]. I was hospitalized five times in ten years with manic or suicidal episodes until I commited to taking lithium. I was hospitalized once in the subsequent thirty years and that when I watched my mother die. Lithium saved my life.

> I totally agree that the right medications save lives - and also make lives worth living. And I think any risk to patients can be offset with a decent psychiatrist keeping an eye on possible bad reactions.

And I thought these were nice (civil) examples of balancing one point of view with another:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1043379.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1043387.html

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1043381.html
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1043388.html

Other ways to reassure posters might include a list of Frequently Felt Worries, analogous to a FAQ, and highlighting posts with success stories or other reasons to feel hopeful.

Note that the focus here is other posters (and lurkers), not Lou. Trying to change Lou (like trying to change me) can lead to frustration.

--

> Perhaps you can see how, to people struggling to find a way out of hopelessness, despair, flatness, intense anxiety or agitation, that it could be incredibly distressing to see extreme negativity over and over and over again.
>
> Dinah

As individuals may struggle with feelings of hopelessness, groups may struggle with individuals who express hopelessness. Blocking expressions of hopelessness may seem to solve the problem for groups, but how can individuals block feelings of hopelessness?

Does anybody here have any tips on how to deal with feelings of hopelessness? Can those approaches be applied here?

--

> Frustration, it's frustration that resonates with me Bob, not powerlessness. ... Lou is undoubtedly intelligent and clever. We know that because of his frustrating comunication style when there's evidence that he can communicate perfectly normally. And how in God's name does he get away with using veiled accusations ... ? It's infuriating and manipulative and uncivil. ... I'm tired of being accused of being an anti-semite ... F*ck you Lou, I'm frustrated.
>
> Toph

OK, frustration, not powerlessness. "I'm frustrated" is of course a more civil way of expressing frustration than "f*ck you".

I'm not saying Lou isn't intelligent and clever, but inconsistent doesn't necessarily mean intentional.

Something that's unacceptable when unveiled can be acceptable when veiled.

Posts can be infuriating without being uncivil.

It sounds like you felt infuriated because you felt accused. Would you feel infuriated if you were accused of being from Mars?

--

> > 3. In a way, it may be good for this community to see that posts by you don't have to be responded to.
>
> True or False
> A. If it may be good, then it also may be bad for this community to see posts by you, Lou, don't have to be responded to

True

> C. By leaving your requests to me outstanding, Lou, then readers could think that the ones that contain statements that you think could arouse anti-Semitic feelings could be thought by some to be supportive and will be god for this community as a whole
> D. By leaving your requests outstanding, Lou, others could break my own rules here.
> F. By leaving your requests outstanding, Lou, then Jews and Islamic people and others could have their faiths insulted and that will be good for this community as a whole.
> G. By leaving your requests outstanding, Lou, that could encourage others to have hatred toward the Jews, and that will be good for this community as a whole.
> H. By leaving all of the posts outstanding in this link, Lou, I can make it good for this community to think that (redacted by respondent)
>
> Lou Pilder

I wonder if you feel frustrated by me. If so, you and Toph may have something in common.

And I may have something in common with medication. Taking medication could potentially lead to a life-ruining condition, and in an extreme case, death. And my not responding to requests could potentially lead to being hated, which could also be a life-ruining condition, and in an extreme case, death.

--

> Still, it takes repeated investments of time and energy to reassure other posters. I can see how that could get old. It takes repeated investments of time and energy to moderate Babble.

Let's make a deal. If I invest time and energy to moderate Babble, will you all invest time and energy to reassure other posters?

Bob


a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1043449.html