Posted by Dinah on May 7, 2013, at 8:03:28
In reply to Re: please be civil » Lou Pilder » SLS » Twinleaf, posted by Dr. Bob on May 7, 2013, at 3:46:53
> > Ten years later and it's still going on. Other people get in trouble for their responses to Lou.
> >
> > Dinah
>
> So you see how I might feel powerless to change how posters behave.I actually do. And I can see how such feelings might engender other feelings, such as irritation and exasperation. Certainly my feelings of powerlessness with you can engender at least that much - with some rage and disappointment thrown in from time to time.
When I felt powerless as a mother, I remember on occasion that I decided that if I couldn't change responses to a situation I'd try to change the situation. For example, it was a lot easier to change the environment to remove a temptation from a toddler than it was to battle with the toddler to ignore the temptation.
That was what was behind my suggestion for an anti-medication board. It's an issue that crops up over and over and over again. It's not limited to a single poster. And while I'm not in any way comparing Babblers to toddlers, there are some situations that over time tend to fray self control. Perhaps you can see how, to people struggling to find a way out of hopelessness, despair, flatness, intense anxiety or agitation, that it could be incredibly distressing to see extreme negativity over and over and over again. It's one thing to share struggles with despair over finding a medication that works, or anger over side effects or failure of a medication, and another thing entirely to suggest to a mother, even indirectly, that they are leading their children to disaster, or to imply that posters are an SSRI away from violence to themselves or others. Frankly, I think the last two are uncivil or insensitive. But if you don't wish to consider it that, then my suggestion to you is to do what you're trying to do on a post by post basis. Separate the two groups, and allow each to discuss their viewpoint without fights. It could be an interesting study of group dynamics to see what happened in not separating posters so much as separating types of posts. This really isn't a Lou specific theme. I've heard complaints from people for years that Babble can be very anti-med, and that that can scare people off Babble to a less frightening site. Wasn't that the idea behind the rule against overgeneralization? I could be wrong, but that was my assumption.
I'm not a big flag waver for meds. I've found the right ones can be a quality of life saver, perhaps even a life saver. I've found that the wrong ones can be harmful. I wish I had had a more conservative pdoc in the nineties. But I can put myself in the place of the meds board posters by thinking about such a volume of anti-therapist posts on Psychology - even if such posts didn't involve repeated statements of how therapy could turn me into a killer. I'd soon find someplace else to discuss therapy. And I'd probably often blow up and defend my therapist and therapy in general.
I think there are many people, myself included, who don't want to see Lou banished, who would like to see him be able to be part of this community, but in a way that is more helpful to the community than what is now going on.
I appreciate your taking the time to respond to the feelings behind what people wrote in this thread, and I particularly appreciate your sharing with us some of your perspective. That always tends to reduce resentment for me because your actions seem less capricious and because you become more of a fellow struggling human being. I understand that you can get frustrated with your role. But we can't afford for you to react to that frustration as, frankly, we might. Find your place of stability, take a deep breath, and work *with* us to find an answer that respects everyone here.
Please?
poster:Dinah
thread:1042981
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20130109/msgs/1043324.html