Posted by Lou Pilder on June 20, 2010, at 13:36:10 [reposted on June 21, 2010, at 10:17:46 | original URL]
In reply to wording of pubic 'rephrasing requests' » Dr. Bob, posted by violette on June 20, 2010, at 11:05:49
> Bob,
>
> "Would anyone be willing to try to show bulldog how he might rephrase the above or to encourage him to apologize?"
>
> Is there anyway you could reword your phrases so that do not resemble parental shaming techniques?
>
> The technique you have been using here is similar to shaming done by families. Whether 'shaming' people into compliance with your version of civility is or is not your intentions, I'm triggered by the way you go about this. Some people who were repeatedly shamed as children end up shaming others as adults. Considering that, and the mental health effects caused by the shaming behavior of family memnbers, it does not seem appropriate for a mental health community. Even though these are not personally directed at me, I find the way this is done to be upsetting, offending, and it may be hurtful to community members who are sensitive to this type of behavior.
>
> shaming:
> 1 : to bring shame to : disgrace <shamed the family name>
> 2 : to put to shame by outdoing
> 3 : to cause to feel shame
> 4 : to force by causing to feel guilty <shamed into confessing>
>
> "Believing that making you ashamed would motivate you to behave as they wished (The demands of a dysfunctional shame-bound family are irrational and inconsistent, for the family only knows it is unhappy and does not know what would make things better. The child becomes the scapegoat for the family's incompetency in solving its problems-in-living.), your parents intended you to feel shame about yourself for your "bad" behavior. Sometimes, they even rationalized that shaming you was "for your own good."
>
> http://www.psychsight.com/ar-shame.htmlviolette,
You wrote,[...The technique..similar to shaming...the way this is done...may be...]
I have the folllowing requests so that I could have another member's viewpoint here so that I could respond better. In your understanding;
A. Do you see a pervasive use here by the administration of techniques that could cause emotional distress to members here that are sensitive to their emotional well-being?
B. If so, do you think that the members of the administration have a duty to refrain from using techniques that could have the potential to inflict emotional distress to members here?
C. If so, would it matter if the members of the administration knew or did not know that these techniques could have the potential to inflict emotional distress, and if they claim that they did not know of the sound and unsound mental-health practices that are well-known in the liturature, that that could excuse them for using them?
D. Mr Hsiung has drafted the rule that says to not post anything that could lead another to feel put down, and that he agrees that antisemitic statements are those that could lead a Jew to feel put down when they read such, and that they are not supportive when an imperative is used, like {only those} and that support takes precedence.
In your posting here your concern of the technique that you cite as causing you concern, could you be willing to study the ramifications of Mr. Hsiung allowing without sanction to the poster to rephrase, or something else to avoid sanction, the antisemitic statement here in this link and post something in the thread on the admin board or in the thread where the post appears on the faith board? If you could, then I may be able to post here concerning bd2's concern about not accomodating Mr. Hsiung's condition for not to be ostracized from the community if he/she does not accomodate Mr. Hsiung's condition. You see, (redacted by respondent)
Lou
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/950671.html
poster:Lou Pilder
thread:951716
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20100321/msgs/951720.html