Posted by Sigismund on August 9, 2009, at 2:36:13
In reply to Re: What's the diff btw ppl who love vs hate Dr. B, posted by alexandra_k on August 9, 2009, at 2:23:15
> sometimes our parents care can be fairly dependent on our doing what it is that they want us to do. so if a parent gets anxious that their child is off exploring and not missing them they can subtly or not so subtly make their anxiety known to the child or punish them by threatening to remove their love upon the child's return. that way the child learns to hang around their parent rather than to go off to explore. the love the child gets is dependent on the child learning what 'good' things they need to do. the care they get is dependent on the child putting their own needs and desires aside in order to be 'good' so as to get the care they need.
> i think the desire to be 'good' (to understand, to tow the line) can be a manifestation of this kind of dynamic...
> authority figures tend to like 'good' patients. studies have shown lol. gee, i wonder why...
Is that what splitting is?
poster:Sigismund
thread:911057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090707/msgs/911064.html