Posted by Dr. Bob on June 3, 2009, at 2:01:33
In reply to Re: Bob: Now, do the right thing and unblock Twin, posted by twinleaf on June 2, 2009, at 17:55:18
> I'd like to state once again my own conviction that I was blocked for three months for reasons which were clearly irrelevant and unimportant.
OK, reasonable people can disagree.
> I was not even given a warning so that I would know when the blocks were coming.
Posters can expect a warning before their first block, but not necessarily before every block:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce
> I know for sure that I never said anything which hurt another poster here; my comments were about anonymous third parties, unknown to any of us, and I was mentioning them only to illustrate points that I felt were important
I'm not sure how you could be certain that no other poster was hurt. And you may not have identified anyone, but they may have known, and others may have guessed, who you were referring to.
> serious weaknesses in the way this site is run ... are: 1) not using flexibility and compassion for posters under severe stress, 2) elaborating the rules to such an extent that they can be misused to hurt others, and 3) rapidly increasing the block length of posters like me because the administrator does not happen to like what we say.
>
> Blocks hurt a lot, and unjust, excessively long ones hurt far more, and require a lot of time in therapy to recover from. I have not seen anyone, other than a number of our therapists, address this central issue.1. We try to be flexible and compassionate, but what we decide may still be different than what someone else would decide. Reasonable people can disagree.
2. We try not to misuse blocks, but even if not misused, they can hurt. And trigger old hurts. And healing can certainly take a long time.
3. Blocks have more to do with whether posts are civil than whether we agree with them. We block posters for uncivil posts that we agree with, but not for civil posts that we disagree with.
> This was once one of the few places online where I felt free and safely held, and I valued the site very much for that. But once you have been blocked as severely as I was, it's impossible to feel that way again.
That's a real loss. It can be hard to find the right balance between freedom and safety.
> I personally think that if someone is given a chance to rethink something excessive that they've said, 99% of the time they will gladly do so. They want to remain part of this community. I believe that would be much more in keeping with what this site is supposed to be: a forum for support, communication, friendship and information for persons suffering from, and recovering from, emotional illnesses.
I agree, if posters help each other rethink some of the things they say, a lot of blocks could be avoided. And this community could be a lot stronger.
Bob
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:892091
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20090529/msgs/899170.html