Posted by Deputy 10derHeart on December 23, 2008, at 0:28:48
In reply to Re: when you're really hurting, posted by twinleaf on December 22, 2008, at 10:10:14
>Longtime posters......are hurt just when they are suffering crises in their own lives. No-one, none of the deputies, and not Dr. Bob, pays the slightest attention to that. All of you just dither around, mindlessly and endlessly applying your guidelines.
Please don't post anything that could lead others, including the deputies and Dr. Bob, to feel accused or put down, or jump to conclusions about others. Since you have been asked more than once recently to follow the civility guidelines, I am going to block you from posting for 2 weeks per Dr. Bob's formula as explained in the FAQ.
> My post did not contain any criticism of anyone.
I respectfully disagree. I think it's reasonable that others could feel criticized (accused and put down) by the above statements.
>yet I am told not to "remind" anyone to be empathic, because they might feel put down.
I'm sorry you felt Dr, Bob was telling you that. I don't see it that way, but clearly you did. Did you possibly misread his sentence? The only thing I see is him referring to this:
"a poster had caused further pain in a private email," which is uncivil. He was reminding you not to, and I quote, "post anything that could lead others to feel accused (for example, of causing pain)" That part was in no way related to the first part of his sentence, IMO.
He said he appreciated the reminder about empathy, and I've never known Dr. Bob to post something like that he doesn't mean. Maybe next time you could ask him for clarification, if that would help with potential misunderstandings and hurt feelings?
>In the process, you have crushed the life and spirit out of Babble.
Again, I am sorry you feel that way. I hope and believe Babble still has life and spirit.
Twinleaf, on a more personal note, I did see what you wrote in a recent post about my deputy posts and thank you for the kind words. I spend a lot of time on them (too much, I'll bet at least my T. would suggest, knowing how my perfectionist tendencies mess up my life at times) trying to say just what I mean, and be fair and decent, yet still apply the guidelines. It's something we *all* take seriously and care very much about. And you have, more than once, posted supportive and kind things about ALL the deputies - I do remember. That is partly why I feel sad and somewhat bewildered at the different sort of words I have unfortunately found myself having to quote here.
> I will never spend another moment here
I hope you change your mind.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternate ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow ups regarding these issues should be directed to Admin, and should of course, be civil. Dr. Bob has oversight over deputy decisions, and he may choose a different action.
--10derHeart, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
poster:Deputy 10derHeart
thread:869999
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20081003/msgs/870405.html