Posted by gardenergirl on March 13, 2008, at 0:20:36
In reply to I have to agree..., posted by twinleaf on March 12, 2008, at 17:18:01
> with Adelaide. Dinah is, of course, fully entitled to make any decisions she would like, and is also entitled to change her mind if circumstances warrant. I do feel very badly about her doing it in such a public manner, with dozens of posts giving her reasons for leaving, followed by many further ones explaining, to a minimal extent, why she has decided to stay.
Dozens? Seriously? My impression is much lower.
> I think that, in the future, deputies should be more responsible in how they use Administration posting in working out problems with Bob.
I didn't see any posts from Dinah or any other deputy that were there to "work out problems with [Dr.] Bob". Instead, I saw posts from Dinah explaining as best she could under the circumstances that she was leaving. Any "working things out" between Dinah and Dr. Bob seemed to occur privately, as appropriate.
>Numbers of posters picked up on Dinah's anger and frustration- these feelings became our own, and many of us are still feeling them. Unlike Dinah, we have no way of resolving them.
Yikes, of course you have ways to resolve feelings. Perhaps if folks examine their feelings and reactions and parse out what parts they've "picked up" from Dinah, what parts are their own, what parts are about this event specifically and what parts are about something else in the poster's experiences; well perhaps they could make progress in resolving them independently. I think it's adaptive and helpful to do so as it puts the power for resolution back where it belongs, in the individual versus in someone or something separate from the individual.
>
> I feel confident that it was inadvertent on her part, but I think that Dinah, by posting so extensively about her own concerns and anger at Bob over some rule changes, set the stage for the entire community to adopt and magnify her original anger and frustration and then make those feelings their own.Perhaps she assumed that her feelings and reactions were uniquely hers, just as the feelings and reactions of others are uniquely theirs. Perhaps she counted on the power of adequate and appropriate boundaries to mitigate any influence her personal decision might have on others.
> Unlike Dinah, we have no communication channel, public or private by which to work out those feelings. They are festering here, damaging the whole community. For this reason, I would like to ask Dinah to be more careful in the future. As a deputy, she has private ways of alleviating her concerns.
And if she were posting about leaving in order to alleviate her concerns, I might agree with you. But I did not get that impression from Dinah's posts about this. If anything, it appeared she was trying to alleviate others' potential concerns instead of just disappearing. That's my impression, anyway.
> She should not be using her position to incite anger and dissatisfaction in the Babble community as a whole.
I agree with you here. No deputy or poster should. So it's good that that's not what happened here, eh?
gg
poster:gardenergirl
thread:817501
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080204/msgs/817660.html