Posted by zazenduckie on February 16, 2007, at 8:54:49
In reply to » Meri-Tuuli » civility question -vs- self-respect, posted by 64Bowtie on February 16, 2007, at 1:36:59
Are your statements about in-civility as the term is used on Babble? Do you believe those who are told to be civil or blocked by Bob have committed in-civility? If so, I strongly disagree with your statements.
> IMO, central to your question is, "What about the lack of respect we are showing the recipient(s) of the in-civility???" IMO you are sharing feelings about the in-civility appearing equal in measure to a measured lack of respect for the recipients... Also, IMO, I share your concern...
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> In this light, I suggest that we take personal responsibility and refrain from these abstract in-civilities unless and until we are certain that we have a healthy dose of self-respect, and over a period of time, not just an aclamation or self-declaration...
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> Otherwise, how can we be sure of our motives and our intent??? Are'nt in-civilities sourced in griping, grumbling, complaining and gossipping???
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> IMO, YUP!!!IMO not at all.
I was blocked for 3 weeks for posting that I thought "ugly was a strong word to describe a particular thread". I wasn't griping, grumbling, complaining or gossiping. I was disagreeing. My self-respect was intact before during and after my post:)
Another poster was blocked for 30 weeks for stating that particular government leaders were destroying a particular civilization. He wasn't griping, grumbling, complaining or gossiping. He was thinking and drawing conclusions.
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> No matter how ruthlessly I assaulted those deserving my rath, griping/grumbling/complaining and gossip only hurt their feelings, thus never making a dent in their repulsive behavior... Eventually, this led me to question the wisdom of acting and speaking with in-civility...
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> When I was certain of myself and my healthy dose of self-respect, I no longer wasted my time 'hurting feelings'... I demanded responsibility and accountability in their altered and amended behaviors... The problems became solved, some sooner, some later...
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> Is'nt an in-civility a striking at others in order to inflict emotional pain by hurting their feelings???Certainly not in the vast majority of cases on Babble which I have observed.
poster:zazenduckie
thread:732656
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070123/msgs/733258.html