Posted by Deneb on October 7, 2006, at 0:41:34
In reply to Re: Blocks do cause hurt » Deneb, posted by NikkiT2 on October 6, 2006, at 0:42:36
> In all honesty Deneb, I worry that you are trying to emotionally blackmail in a "if you block me again this is what you will do to me" kind o way. Are you?
>
> NikkiI'm not sure what you mean by "emotionally blackmail," but I've just realized something that may have something to do with that.
I think, I think I *am* angry about having been blocked. I thought the punishment for *me* was too severe. I'm also not used to punishments in general, I was never punished as a child and punishment does not sit well with me.
I think I still get angry once in a while and when I'm angry I think I *do* want to "hurt" Dr. Bob. I think I want to hurt Dr. Bob by making him feel guilty, but I'm sure everything I do is to no avail because there is nothing to feel guilty about. I think I would do the same in his position, except everything is different for *me* you see. The rules don't seem to apply to *me*. I'm very egocentric still.
It's all very bizarre. On the one hand I love Dr. Bob and don't want to hurt him, but on the other I'm angry at what he did and I want to make him feel bad. I think...I think I've separated Dr. Bob into two people almost. The everyday Bob didn't block me and I love that Bob. The Bob who blocked me I'm angry with.
I love Bob, yet I can get angry at him. That leaves me confused.
Must be that black and white thinking or something.
Deneb*
poster:Deneb
thread:691844
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060918/msgs/692599.html