Posted by Estella on May 11, 2006, at 10:43:45
In reply to Re: CORRECT LINKS, posted by verne on May 11, 2006, at 7:46:33
> "thank you for support" in direct opposition to a bit of contention I raised.
> It just turns into anothe SUPPORT FEST and ALLIANCES. Geez, someone is cranky with so-and-so, let's just lend our support rather than even think about what's going on.
Ah. I think I get what you mean. I think sometimes people struggle with what is being said... And they feel a bit unsafe / insecure / nervous about what is said. And so people do offer support to one another. And I guess one thing that does... Is that sometimes it might well appear that it is about supportive alliances. And that those supportive alliances are really about being unsupportive to the person who is trying to get people thinking...
> Nowhere does anyone really talk about my concerns.
Which concerns?
> You started to get real lately...You mean because I acted out of anger?
> but went back to the drbob "supportive" thing.
Because I realised I said things that hurt people I cared about. I don't know how things go with your daughter... My guess would be that if you act out of anger... And hurt her... Then you kind of have some repairing to do. IMHO it isn't about acting on Dr Bob's instruction that we support each other... It was about my appreciating that I hurt my friends.
> I'm so done with this place. I don't value this site any more or less because I'm DONE with it, please don't value it more because you are INVOLVED IN IT. Let's not let that cloud our perception.You are involved. You are here. You read. You post. You read.
Sounds to me like you FEEL like an outsider here....
And that you PERCEIVE you are an outsider here....I guess what I wonder about that is how much of it is fulfilling what you expect to happen. You think people won't accept you so you tend to interpret their comments as being unsupportive of you.
Like I said... I tried offering support to you... But I couldn't figure how to do that in a way that led to your feeling happier or appreciating my efforts rather than feeling unhappy with me or perceiving me to be attacking or hurting or something like that.
And I didn't want to upset you... So I figured I didn't know how to reach out to you and I had better leave you alone.
By "real" do you mean expressing your feelings?
Are people "more real" to you when they are expressing your feelings (ie of anger etc)?
> Can I get blocked for life if I say I dislike the way you argue crap from every which way?I hope not.
It is a skill I learned. To try and consider the best arguments from both sides and hence come to a considered opinion. Of course the arguments that are most intuitively compelling varies as a function of how one is feeling (among other things) but oh well fact: people have psychology.
In the words of Wittgenstein...
The aim is not to spare other people the trouble of thinking but rather to stimulate them to thoughts of their own.
> what do you call the extensive and labored aruging you call posting?
maybe also but never just. i have lots of posts. not all of them are arguments. perhaps you are focusing on that which you do not like...
>Is that making people feel better somehow?
are your posts making people feel better somehow? i thought you agreed that isn't the only thing of importance...
> Crap, you don't even know which side your arguing half the f*cking time!
Maybe that is because I'm not trying to argue a side. maybe it is because i am sharing thoughts / arguments and people can take what they will...
> So, please don't bring up SUPPORT. That's not what you do. Be honest with yourself.its what i do sometimes.
and i think it is probably what you do sometimes too.
> I just hate long argumentive posts about nothing from boths sides of nothing.
>
> Clear that up and we're fine.you are of course free to ignore my posts if they are not to your taste.
poster:Estella
thread:636780
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060412/msgs/642571.html