Posted by used2b on April 13, 2005, at 23:02:58
In reply to Sometimes » used2b, posted by AuntieMel on April 13, 2005, at 12:57:38
> Sometimes an apology is really just an apology. An admission of wrong, not to be meant as a way to an end.
>
> I think Mark's apology is in that category.
Most likely, and I don't want to categorize him among either violent household members or among sexually aggresive people. But neither do I want to get back to where I didn't want to go in the first place, by hugging and making up.I f-up often. If I accidentally step on somebody's fresh-poured concrete, I apologize and maybe do what I can to fix the pour. But if I intentionally slap someone in the face for no good reason (i.e. not in self-defense) I do the other part of what he did - I try to discover for myself and for the well-being of those around me why I did what I did. At my best, I try to demonstrate and learn from my sorrow, but I don't use it as a cleaning device to erase what I did.
There are things I've done in political conflict I regret, but I did them for a reason. If I'm never invited back because of the stances I took, that's what it cost me. I hope I learned something.
I checked some of Mark's posts and he is one of the most balanced people I see on this board. His delima that day reminded me of what some soldiers in Iraq have to face. They are well-intended mature, even self-sacrificing people granted deadly authority with no reliable guidance on how to use it. After a while, things they would never have dreamed of seem like part of the job when in fact, they are just wrong. Fortunately for us and for Mark, it was easier for him to sort it out.
> I'm also real curious what you meant by "I am shifting to a more combative stance appropriate for confronting social contagion." What should we expect?Impugning rhetoric. Unusually high-quality rhetoric for what you pay, I might add.
poster:used2b
thread:483036
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050323/msgs/483964.html