Posted by Larry Hoover on September 28, 2004, at 13:44:56
In reply to Re: Interesting points - but..... » SLS, posted by AuntieMel on September 28, 2004, at 12:53:03
> I can see that, but creating a rule for personal pet-peeves isn't necessarily the answer either.
Please be civil. I don't appreciate having my concerns characterized as a pet-peeve.
The "do not harass/pressure" rule has been in existence for a long time. The issue is how to more succinctly define it. "I know it when I see it" doesn't work for most people. I can state, without equivocation, that it does not work for me.
I feel harassed when I see a string of similar posts. I feel pressured to attend to a subject which may well be of little interest to me, a priori, if there is one post after another, numbered and defined. In psychic terms, it's like someone yelling over other more genteel conversations taking place in a crowded room, demanding attention.
I feel diminished if my language is dissected and minutely examined via requests to clarify. If someone does not get my point, I am more than happy to rephrase or expand on my thoughts. That is a different sort of request, though, than being asked to justify the particular use of a word or phrase when ambiguity of meaning is a core characteristic of language itself. That the dictionary or etymology of a word may conceivably convey a particular meaning of that word, that does not mean that *I* meant that particular meaning of the word. It is like someone trying to put words in my mouth, to substitute their thoughts for my own. It puts me on the defensive. If I am feeling defensive, I may have no desire to speak at all. Receiving multiple posts with a similar effect is a pressure I do not wish to bear.
It is quite a different thing to receive a question like, "I'm not sure just what you meant when you said 'xxxxx'. Could you try rephrasing that, or expanding on those thoughts?"
I want a rule that helps me to feel protected, even if I never need to invoke it. It's a matter of consideration. There is no right answer. There are different answers. Unconstrained posting has been described by myself and others as problematic. You can consider my feelings, or not. I'm asking that you do. I'm asking you to consider the feelings of those who spoke of their distress, and who may have been silenced because their feelings are not being validated. Those immune to that emotional response are not likely to be the ones being constrained from posting on the subject. I suspect there are silent people who care a great deal about how this is settled, but who are uncomfortable enough to be unable to speak in their own interests.
I'm asking for a guideline. I was accused of violating the pressure/harassment rule, when I do not feel that I did. I feel that other posters have crossed the line into pressure/harassment without receiving sanction. Where is that darn line, anyway? It isn't nowhere. I've met it. But I don't know where I'll meet it again, and that bothers me a great deal.
Lar
poster:Larry Hoover
thread:394224
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040927/msgs/396343.html