Posted by Phil on February 11, 2004, at 10:35:20
In reply to Re: What percentage of male vs. female posters?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 11, 2004, at 1:28:50
My guess is that women don't hide away like us bears and are more likely to share with each other.
Women are just more sociable and will generally ask or talk to each other when they need support.Guys, me anyway, will go to the boards, see all women posters and may be hesitant to join in. I imagine men who are new here are even more hesitant.
As the trend continues (if it is a trend) guys will eventually feel they don't belong and will suffer in in isolation., at least as far as this site goes.
While I enjoy supportive women, I miss seeing more men here. bob, was the only one I actually emailed once and asked if he was 'in the bunker' when he would not post. He did the same for me once. We didn't chat. Those three words were enough. I also spoke to Greg once on the phone which was cool.
The worse I feel for instance, the more I isolate and total self-destruction, driven by anger, sets in.
I'm generalizing because this isn't always true about men and women but I think it's close. It's certainly not 'news', is it?
On the down side, I wonder if safety issues here have come to mean that men are generally seen as perpetrators and are, in a subtle way, escorted to the exit or just leave out of frustration as to what constitutes safety. I've had people flame me several times but how that relates to my safety, I don't know. Are they going to find me and hurt me or are their words making me feel unsafe because I'm fragile and will fall into despair because they don't like me or they are verbally abusive? To me, it's a matter of boundary setting but I'm not condoning abuse either. Mental illness is not the same for any two people and if someone feels unsafe, they do deserve protection.
In general, I think men feel unsafe here because of administration and women feel unsafe because of men. I know this is a very wide net I'm casting and it's certainly not based on any research I've done and I may be 100% wrong.
So, I'm back to where I started. If men are indeed less in numbers here, is it human nature? Do men feel 'less than' when here? Are we less likely to stay if we feel we've been 'falsely accused', so to speak? Or is the future of forums like this eventually going to be known as, say Cosmopolitan magazine(bad example) of mental illness, where men glance at the pictures but don't understand the rhetoric?
Whatever the case may be, if men do leave in much higher percentages, the diversity and the goal of giving all people an outlet to post here will be gone and men will continue in their own community. Most likely a drink, a TV, and a good male friend that they communicate with at least once a year...by email. " Or, has 5 years slipped by? I'm so busy, you know. " Are you okay? "Sure, great. I'll see you someday." All of the old gang is getting together in July, come on down. "Yeah. Hey, I have another call, I'll be in touch."ps...Hopefully there will be some thoughts on this for the good of the community.
I am not looking for support. Any offered will fall on deaf ears.
poster:Phil
thread:311911
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/312013.html