Posted by Dinah on April 6, 2003, at 18:24:47
In reply to Lou's respomse to Dinah's post-CP-4 » Dinah, posted by Lou Pilder on April 6, 2003, at 17:47:44
Lou, I give up.
Again, my post was full of so many positive statements to you, and yet you ignore them all. :(
I will clarify what I meant however, in the spirit of friendship. And I do hope you understand this post fully.
You often ask very specific questions about words or parts of phrases. So in that sense your requests are clear. But you often don't place that in a larger context. I can't think about things on that level without understanding the entire context of the request.
For example if you were to ask me "Could you clarify what you meant by [can't thing about things on that level]" I probably wouldn't know how to respond. I wouldn't know what you were aiming at. It's too small a piece of the entire post for me to understand. Perhaps it's just the way my brain works, and I apologize.
On the other hand if you were to ask me "It seems from your post that you are frustrated, and that there is something about my requests for clarification that make it difficult for you to reply. I think my requests are perfectly understandable. Could you clarify what you meant by [can't think about things on that level]" I would understand that I was not conveying properly that I can't focus on that small a part of my post, on that small a concept and I would attempt to explain in different words.
But if you said "I am hurt by your implication that my requests are a burden. Could you clarify what you meant by [can't think about things on that level] I would understand that you had misinterpreted my frustration as anger and accusation towards you, and I would attempt to reassure you that I wasn't angry or accusatory at all. That I was sorry you misinterpreted my words in such a way.
In both cases you would be asking for clarification of seven words, but you would be placing those seven words in context. And the two contexts would be very different and call for a very different response. While just using the seven words without placing them in context leaves me without a frame from which to respond.
I understand that you might not understand this, and I apologize for not having the proper words. I understand that you might be offended by something in this post, and I am sorry for it. No offense was intended. And I hope that if you feel offended by seven or eight words in this post, that you will look over our entire conversation today and recognize how unlikely it is that I meant something cruel by what I've said.
I, as always, continue to see you as a friend, however you choose to see me.
Dinah
poster:Dinah
thread:213864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030404/msgs/216764.html