Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2003, at 10:16:48
In reply to Re: Shutting down the Babbles » Alii, posted by shar on February 20, 2003, at 14:04:21
I have to be completely honest here, Shar. There was a time when my participation was harmful to me in the way you describe. It wasn't anything Dr. Bob did though. It was more the nature of the internet and blank screen it provides, and my lack of experience in interacting with others (beyond family and a few long term friends).
Dr. Bob's involvement in the board minimized rather than exacerbated my difficulties. Things would have been much worse in a free for all board. No, they wouldn't have been because I wouldn't have stayed more than five minutes, judging by my reaction to other sites.
I am completely at a loss for why people who conclude that this isn't the right setting for them feel that they need to take it away from those for whom it is the right setting.
Due to my own personality, I also am perplexed that people are so upset by the completely reasonable civility rules of the site. There are standards of expected behavior wherever you go. I employ the civility standards... Well I employ them everywhere, so I'm not a good example. But I imagine most people apply them at work and at their kids schools and at church and so on.
It used to make me nervous for fear that I would inadvertantly cross the line when I was trying to express myself. It still does sometimes. I have my moments were I am relieved to find out I haven't crossed the line.
Dr. Bob's not perfect, but he's as close to it as any human being can be. Don't get a big head Dr. Bob :). None of us would be perfect, although we might all be imperfect in different directions.
I also have this burning desire to know how people think Dr. Bob would run this board if he were doing it purely for altruistic reasons, with no research involved (instead of mostly for altruistic reasons - the amount of research he can glean from this place could not possibly make up for the headaches). I can't imagine that he would possibly do anything differently. I think he runs this site as he thinks it should be run, and his research has nothing to do with his administrative decisions. But I would be fascinated by hearing that others, for example, think that Dr. Bob would have no civility standards except for the research. Or that they think he gives more blocks or PBC's because of his research. Or see how others would complete the sentence "If there were no research involved, Babble would be different in the following ways:"
I worked through my problems with my therapist, and in the relatively safe experimental (experimental for me, for me not Dr. Bob) space this board provides, and I think I ended up better off in the long run. So short term regression follwed by long term emotional gain from these boards has been my own experience.
But I don't think it could be said that there is *no* potential for harm by participating in these boards.
poster:Dinah
thread:201678
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030221/msgs/202449.html