Re: I apologize for the things I wrote while hypomanic » NKP

> > I apologize for my manner of writing beginning a few weeks ago. My guess is that it was precipitated by a reduction in the dosage of nortriptyline. It was a sort of drug-discontinuation rebound improvement which left me in a state resembling hypomania. It might very well have been hypomania. I can't be sure. The last time that a drug-induced hypomania emerged in me was in 1995.
> >
> >
> > - Scott

> Scott, all's that matters is that you are safe, and I really hope feeling better. I apologize for my inferring anything, and hope I didn't do or say anything wrong or stupid.
>
> Jay :)

You were right about my experiencing some sort of activation. Perhaps it was true hypomania. It doesn't really matter. I wrote what I wrote. I think I would have been more receptive to your observations were you to address your concerns directly to me rather than about me to the community.

Although the posture I took when posting so many angry words was destructive, the content of what I wrote is no less true and valuable. The narrative of my history pursuing a cure for my treatment-resistant depressive disorder is, at times, very embarrassing. Nevertheless, I think it is worth reviewing. It contains descriptions of my experiences with depression, my treatment history, and some of the tips for treating seemingly refractory cases. I swallowed untold numbers of pills over the course of 40 years beginning in 1982.

Does it make sense to reject psychiatry just because you havent responded to any of its treatments so far? Of course, it does. However, even the purest of logic can yield the grossest of inaccuracies especially when trying to develop theories without sufficient facts or understandings. I understand how easily this can happen, but obstacles are obstacles.

I have been my own worst enemy, too. Too many times, I didn't adhere to a treatment protocol strictly enough so as to be able to evaluate its efficacy. No information was gleaned. There are treatments that I had to revisit because I didnt give them enough time to work the first time.
There are worse things, of course. Watching people become their own worst enemies and preclude any kind of meaningful healing is one of them. I dont blame anyone for their desperation. How could I?

* Continually changing the substances that one assaults their brain with is counterproductive - if not irreversibly damaging.

I consider the following to be one of my more important contributions. It is near the top of my list of issues that have escaped the attention of clinical researchers in psychiatry and Psycho-Babble as well.

Precious time wasted?

I would love to be proven wrong. My ego can take it. I would love to watch people achieve remission using methods that I *currently* reject. I dont see how taking a combination of twenty or more herbs and natural substances can be so compelling so as to reject proven medical treatments. I find this particularly upsetting because these substances never bring anyone to remission on Psycho-Babble or at least produce a satisfactorily robust response. Those very same drugs many persuasive people reject are the same ones that I was fortunate to attain remission with.

What happened to Deplin, SAMe, CBD, herbal teas, piracetam, other nootropics, and a plethora of nutriceuticals? Sure, some people feel somewhat better at first, but how much better? Does it produce a persistent and reliable remission? How have their lives changed in the absence of depression?

________________________________________

"The brain determines the mind as the mind sculpts the brain."

I have not come across a more succinct portrayal of how a healthy brain functions.

* With mood disorders, the brain is resistant to being sculpted by the mind. It can be very stubborn, and be resistant to even the most aggressive drug treatments. In order to treat depression effectively, one must give any treatment enough time to begin sculpting the brain when the brain is incapable of sculpting itself.

I was treatment resistant between the years 1982-2000. In what ways was I different from anyone else on Psycho-Babble in 2019? How did it happen that I became different?

Only four substances are taken by me continually since late Spring, 2020. My depression began to remit in a big way after adhering to the following treatment for almost THREE months.

1. Dry mouth. This has not disappeared completely, but became much better as I began to respond to treatment. I think this is due to a normalization of autonomic dysfunction. With remission comes a reduction in sympathetic tone and an increase in parasympathetic tone.

2. Anorgasmia. This was followed by delayed orgasm. This was followed by normal orgasmic function. It took three months to resolve completely. I added exercises to help the brain discover and map a new circuit to reach orgasm. I dont know if it helped, but it didnt hurt. I was hoping that the brain would map an alternate route to orgasm, much like stroke victims do for recovering skills.

3. Delayed micturition / urinary hesitancy or retention. - This disappeared with continued treatment.

* No herbs. No nootropics. No loading up on biological substances that occur endogenously. No mega-dosing vitamins. No micro-dosing drugs. I tried these things myself out of desperation. Who wouldnt be desperate after so many years? Ultimately, it was unnatural substances that brought me to remission and allowed me to begin putting together a life worth living.

Right now, I am engaged to be married and planning to move to another state. No more shoveling snow.

N=1

I will add that when I started Nardil this last time, I was able to almost completely avoid side effects. I have been on and off Nardil many times in 40 years. This time I played out a hunch and thought that if I started at a dosage low enough, and increased the dosage gradually enough, I might avoid *triggering* side effects in the first place. It worked for everything except anorgasmia, which eventually resolved on its own after a while.

________________________________________

I consider the following concept to be one of the most important contributions of mine on Psycho-Babble.

A single drug can have opposite effects depending on the drug that preceded it.

Some see things as they are and ask why.
I dream of things that never were and ask why not.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Re: I apologize for the things I wrote while hypomanic » NKP

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