Posted by jay2112 on January 9, 2021, at 21:47:53
In reply to Re: Lamdage + Rj.. et al Dissociation » jay2112, posted by sigismund on January 1, 2021, at 0:19:36
> >On the day of my Mom's funeral
>
> On the day of my brothers funeral I was in no state for public speaking, nor did I feel any desire or need to testify. Through the grace of a friend I had some oxycodone. The compromise was the reading from Ecclesiastes 'To every thing....' I decided not to break down, that when I felt like that I would stop and look at the congregation. The 10 verses took more than 10 minutes. I recall pausing for a minute after.......'a time of war' because the next words are 'a time of peace', and I thought the congregation could wait until I could feel that it might be a possibility......why rattle that off? Painkiller necessary? Hell yes.Oh, I had a good stash at home after the funeral. Dexedrine..I squashed back a handful, washed down with vodka at the wake. I saved my T3's for the evening. I can now barely remember...as I have my daily panic attack, and now I am going to turn to a hell of a lot more alcohol. Alcohol, I have just found out, is a good friend of mine. A nice handful of Xanax, say 7-8 mg's, would be my saviour tonight.
I was brought up to believe..
Belief that's failed me now
As Life goes from bad to worse
No philosophy consoles me
In a clockwork universe..........
~Neil Peart (1952-2020)
poster:jay2112
thread:1113033
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20201025/msgs/1113298.html