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Re: 'Stable Self' an illussion. Lamdage22

Posted by jay2112 on December 21, 2020, at 22:28:24

In reply to Re: 'Stable Self' an illussion., posted by Lamdage22 on December 3, 2020, at 9:57:51

> My doc wont even let me on Wellbutrin. I too am prone to psychosis. Maybe it works sometimes and sometimes it doesnt? In terms of my wellbeing, there is more to lose than to win. Didnt change meds in 4 years! Alternative treatments improved me greatly. I guess we all want to extrapolate our own experiences to people in general!

When I first started psych meds, it was in 1994..the summer (when OJ drove his white jeep down the highway, with the 'funny' multi-parted, choreographed police 'chase'..ugghh). But, my family doc started me on 10mgs of amytriptaline and .5mg's of lorazepam 3x a day. This was after a year or so of major dark, suicidal thinking. I HONESTLY thought, the first med I would take would 'cure' me..and I didn't have a problem if I had to take it forever!

Well, here we are, almost 30 years later. I have been on max doses of most drugs...no go. All varieties. At first, I had illusions that these drugs would make me 100 percent stress free, that I would be 'normal' (like, sleep 8 hours a night...feel like Superman..lol)..boy, was I in for a surprise!! LOL. And this was waaaayy before every 1 in 3 was taking medication..hehh.

So, my 'stable self' never really became 'stable'. Heh. I am SOOO afraid of the outside world...oh boy.I have to pop about 6mg of clonazepam just to go out. No life, no love....I CLING to hope...I live alone in a basement 'cell'...my 51st birthday, tomorrow, and...crap....


I was brought up to believe..
Belief that's failed me now
As Life goes from bad to worse
No philosophy consoles me
In a clockwork universe..........
~Neil Peart (1952-2020)


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Psycho-Babble Medication | Framed

poster:jay2112 thread:1112510
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20201025/msgs/1113036.html