Posted by phidippus on February 23, 2014, at 17:31:49
In reply to Advice on which medication is best for my case, posted by kavinsky99 on February 16, 2014, at 17:02:18
>I have neverending, repetitive, intrusive and crippling thoughts of bad moments or things that I've been through. Sometimes memories, other times the memories "insert themselves" in the moment/current task I'm on, projecting a critic voice.
This is 'Pure O' OCD - intrusive and recurrent thoughts, not PTSD.
>I feel very, very anxious all the time. I feel like most of the time I'm in an extreme hurry and feel unable to just be in the moment...it actually causes a bit of frenzied behavior that is not only unpleasant, but very irrational. I still don't know if it's pure anxiety or a type of hypomania where anxiety is very present.
Bipolar mania can present with a lot of anxiety. Describing your behavior as frenzied points to hypomania.
What about your obsessions? Do you think maybe they could be causing a lot of the anxiety?
>I also have panic attacks daily if I'm not on the right medication.
That would be an AD or a benzo.
>I have it all: frustration and anger...a temper...insomnia...And when anxious/depressed, my energy feels neverending.
You used the above words to describe your depresssion, but they sound more like me to be the symptoms of a bipolar mixed state
> ADHD: I am very restless. - VERY -. I can't keep my mind on one subject/task for too long. I usually find myself doing a thousand things at once.
I think these are indications of a bipolar disorder, rather than an ADHD.
>I notice when I find myself in a calm environment where I have to focus, my mind tends to drift to dark places. The bad memories/intrusive thoughts come down like thunder. I usually feel desperation coming when I can't find distractions, as I know my mind will be at the mercy of my horrible thoughts and feelings.
This is kind of how OCD works.
>I find it hard to read books, follow plots or study something. It's actually very hard, and it's concerning me a lot.You're concentration problems seeem far more severe than thoe found in ADHD.
>This gives me quite a strong genetic and behavioral reason to develop bipolar disorder.
You probably already are bipolar.
> Lexapro...Intensified irritability and feeling of neverending energy.
Triggered manic symptoms.
>Zoloft...Felt very motivated, chatty, full of self confidence and somewhat agressive.
Triggered mania
>Helped calming my mind from the bad negative thoughts. After that, I just started feeling very, very relaxed. No apathy, almost no physical symptom of depression/anxiety, rarely the bad racing thoughts came up. Felt like my mind was "moving" again, able to be in the moment and think and feel new things.
Probably triggered a manic cycle that then led to a depressive cycle which was treated. Had you continued to take it, more mania would've been triggered.
> Buspar...Seemed to give me an even worst boost to physical energy and cause a LOT (and I mean A LOT) of anger.
Triggered mania
> Effexor XR...When I got on the 150mg dose, I turned out to be very, very irritable and hostile, fighting with my girlfriend for no reason.
triggered mania
>lithium, of which I took 75mg to 900mg daily. By far, the medication I most enjoy and would never be without it.Good. I hope you stay on it to treat your bipolar symptoms. As long as you stay on the Lithium, you should be able to take an antidepressant to treat your OCD symptoms. I'd recommend Luvox, Viibryd or Clomipramine, though there are many other SSRIs available.
Eric
Levels my mind just enough to feel somewhat normal every odd day. And I feel the longer I take, the better I do/feel overall.
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> Now, for a conclusion, I would like your input for medications that best and safely fit my diagnosis/possible comorbities, according to my issues, that I will describe here in a more objective manner:
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> My main goal is to seek relief for all the symptoms described above, but while retaining a few capacties or gaining new ones:
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> I wish to see obliterated:
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> Depression;
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> anxiety;
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> negative critical thoughts that "talk to me" in my mind;
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> intrusive flashbacks that pop up constantly;
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> overall agitation;
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> insomnia;
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> I wish to see improved:
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> Overall cognition (bad memory, poor concentration, difficulty to (re)learn even the simplest things, poor criativity, difficulty forming sentences sometimes);
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> focus: both on the big picture in life projects, and on the ability to actually read a line on a text book and be able to absorb it. I have an impulsive and frenzied attitude towards life, I rarely finish anything I start and keep trying new things all the time.;
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> ability to "be in the moment", with no judgement coming from my own mind. to just relax and enjoy myself, letting life happen.
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> I appreciate any input. Be it medication, behavior change or technique, natural supplementation or anything.
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> Sincerely grateful.
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poster:phidippus
thread:1060760
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140214/msgs/1061115.html