Posted by zonked on February 19, 2014, at 10:20:07
In reply to Worried: PTSD or ..psychosis?! .. agoraphobia etc., posted by zonked on February 18, 2014, at 19:13:41
I sort of wonder if being homeless for awhile can create some weird phobias - like, the inherent lack of privacy can create a sense of being looked at, or being unsafe/"not at home" anywhere.
I need to get over this for my Mom...
I feel a little better this morning, a little. My Mom's neighbors seem to be quiet - one of them had been working on his unit with power tools and the others slam the door to the complex all the time, wracking my nerves... all weekend. When they are gone, and all I hear is birds chirping in the morning, I do feel better.
I hate being so sensitive sometimes. And trying to get family to understand has proved impossible..
> Sorry it's been awhile.
>
> you guys will remember my Mom is sick. Well, she has maybe weeks to months to live. I returned to California unprepared - that is - I never imagined that I'd have PTSD-like feelings coming back here. Yet, I am going to have to have an uncomfortable (for me) phone call with the insurance provider (I have a Medicare Advantage/Medicaid provider with a network in the Puget Sound area, only.) I am gonna have to ask for a special exception.
>
> Never thought I might have PTSD until I came back here - I am afraid to leave the house, that people are "staring" at me or "judging" me, even though I know they're not. I remarked to several people that the metro area my mom lives in, and I lived in until a year ago, has been "ruined" for me by off and on homelessness in this area for years.
>
> I am afraid to tell a shrink all of this, because I do not want my irrational fears mistaken for paranoia that requires antipsychotic medication, something I do not want to put in my body. I have no familial support with this.
>
> No amount of Xanax ,BTW , seems to reduce or calm my fears much about leaving the house, being in crowds or on public transportation, etc. I wake up in a terror and it does not cease.
>
> Yet, if I return to WA, my mom will likely die without me around and I am afraid that will do me in. Sorry about this. very scared.
>
> -z
poster:zonked
thread:1060844
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140214/msgs/1060856.html