Posted by Wasp on February 5, 2014, at 4:48:55
Hey Hi All!
I wrote a book on the newbie board telling my whole life story as my intro. I just had to get it all out! And now I have so many questions...
I spent the day researching Emsam some more and really digging into Atypical, because my doctor just recently told me that's what I am going through and it is not normal. I thought this was normal and I was just extremely moody, and I thought the new feelings I was getting from the Emsam was hypomania. At least it's what I had always called hypomania. I make a lot of goals, but they are all goals I could reach if I just stayed that way and not get depressed. I just make a lot of goals normally even when I am aypical, I just get excited because I can do them when I am in that "hypomanic" mode. So now I know I have always had four modes but misinterpreted them incorrectly: Depressed (which was melancholic depression), Normal (which was atypical depression), very brief Hypomania (which I just found out was everyone else's normal, being happy, getting normal stuff done) and Manic (which of course was hypomanic and manic). What a revelation for me. I knew before that I never had middle ground, just depressed and then hypomanic/manic because I misinterpreted normal as hypomanic. Being on the Emsam is my first long experience of normal since before I was in high school. And I haven't experienced it in 11 years. I am 48. I just experienced a month of normal. What a mind blower!
Now that was over a month ago when I was trying to figure out how to go between the 6 and 9 patches without cutting the nines and sleep was a roller coaster because my doctor had me alternating 6 and 9 patches.
Then life caved in. First, my husband got appendicitus and I took it very hard because I am disabled from Fibromyalgia, and the doctor had to make sure we repeatedly told he could die from the surgery or get aids from a blood transfusion if it was deemed necessary, so I saw my world as being fragily held together by my now suddenly mortal husband.
Then my mother-in-law died a few days later and everyone was grieving and my husband was getting over surgery and the whole 9 yards that went with that. Then our finances collapsed and we are bouncing more and more checks every month to survive, In December it was $1000, in January it was $1500.Which means we have to move in with my 93yo father-in-law, asap & all of a sudden, who is now suffering dementia badly because his wife just passed away. We own his house outright, so now we need to live there. But I am going to have to be dealing with his dementia now one on one all day which I don't think I can manage. And we are commuting an hour there and back staying there three days and two nights a week, trying to help and trying to get used to being around him like this since we will be moving in. We have absolutely no other chioce.
It is depressing me terribly to be around him. We are being subsumed by his illness and have no time with each other and my life is taking a backseat to my taking care of him when I am not up to the task.
All this happened since Thankgiving and I became really depressed on the 9 patches where before I thought they were too much and made me anxious. So My doctor and I are trying the 12's and after 4 weeks I am much less depressed, but still depressed, so I am considering 15mg if she will let me cut the 6 patches or 18 if she won't and maybe I'll cut them anyway.
My questions are:
1.) Has anyone had this happen where you were normal on the dosage or high and then because of extenuating circumstances got depressed again and then upped the patch and felt better? Has your normal range changed before like mine has?
2) I know you don't know, but do you think I could find normal again, because I was so grateful to have it and can't imagine staying depressed now?
3.) I know the diet is different for all people what you tolerate, but what types of changes should I see going from the 9-12, 12-15/18? I know what my diet can handle on the 9's. Will that stay similar or change drastically?
The patch is making me less anxious and less in pain everytime I go up it seems now and I don't know if my original anxiety on the 9's when it was really getting in my system was because it was too much or from some other reason. I was on the 6's before and that helped my anxiety, not gave me more.
4.) How do you know it is too much? What are your symptoms? Would it be Serotonin Syndrome? Because I am really watching out for that because my doctor kept me on Trileptal and is confident we can catch Serotonin Syndrome early because I am so hypervigilant and know my body really well.
5.) When I felt I was on too much with the 9's I thought maybe I was getting manic because I was getting unfocused at times, although actually that was a new symptom I had not had while manic before. I think that was from Serotonin Syndrome, and can that level where you get Serotonin Syndrome change based on how depressed you are?
I will be seeing my doctor on the 13th after the 12's are more in my system. Before on the nines I just had dry mouth at night and bad breath in the mornings. Now I have tinnitus, dizzyness, and I wake up early in the mornings repeatedly really tired and unable to function because I am so tired, but unable to sleep, as well.
6.) I usually get 11 hours of sleep a night because of the Fibromyalgia, but I am getting about 8-9 now non-functional. When I was on the nines, I would sometimes wake up way early, but have energy, what should I make of this?
7.) And should I take off the patch at night yet and how will that affect me switching to 15/18's, will it make it less of a jump? I have read on here that most of the patch's meds go out during the day and it doesn't matter if you take it off, but there is still enough meds in there to disturb your sleep, and when I was tring to titrate the nines I found great differences in how they affected me by how long I left them on. Often I would feel it was too long at one dose and too short at another whan it was about two hours different. because I would wake up really early or a bit early. I was trying for 8 hours and waking up wide awake and I was getting close once in a while, but it was really inconsistant. But I always woke refreshed, which isn't happening now. I probably need to give it more time. I liked having the patch on at night because I woke up chipper, but waking would be at unpredictable hours.
I guess I had a lot of questions!! Please be patient with me. I am new at this. This med is a lot more complicated than any other I have been on before, or at least my experience has been.
Thank you. Love to All.
poster:Wasp
thread:1060268
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20140123/msgs/1060268.html