Re: forgetting to do things...humilating » rjlockhart37

> i've gotta write this....living at home....its like i forget to do the simplist things...like some idiot who doesnt have common sense...you know, leave things and then forget where they are....forgetting to feed the cats and my parents get angry at me...for a good reason too...really...but you know i've thought about this....this is how my brain is....and no matter how much humilation people will put on me for doing stupid stupid things....its like my mind does not change...
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> i was living with my aunt and uncle and didnt do certain things that where ... just normal people could do....rerember to lock the door...take out the trash...clean...i am vary good janitor when it comes to house work but im a forgetful janitor too...and do incredibly stupid things for no reason. You know i just can't stand...i have so much selfloathing and sorrow about my condition and who i am...if i was living somwhere else besides my parents house...i would get riducled, it would be a nightmare....but they understand somewhat that this is how i work....
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I have ADHD-type inattention and concentration problems and a very short working memory. In school I got called stupid because I would forget homework assignments or misplace my pen like everyday. I have a hard time following lists of oral instructions and always I would have to ask the teacher for it 2 or 3 or more times. When I visited other people I got called stupid or lazy because I'd forget glasses and plates on ledges and get confused sometimes when they told me to do things.

It's just your brain works differently than other people rj -- you're not stupid. It doesn't matter what people say about you. I know you're smart -- you research a lot and have a lot of knowledge about meds and you are a good problem solver and always come up with creative solutions for people with their meds. Like a lot of ADHD people you probably have way better focus and long-term memory than most and more creativity and problem-solving skills. Those are the skills you actually need to excel at your job and in your career, not being able to remember homework and do rote assignments and chores.

> i'm going back to college for a couple months...its a computer class....but when i was college in 2007 i would lose my keys, my books, my important scheduel papers for tests....all this sh*t, and then i would lose my mind and curse. I'm not trying to write a post on self deprivation or negative stuff...this is reality for me....i do this stupid, forgetful stuff all the time...if im aware of it or not....usally im not aware of it and thats why i get ridiculed all the time.
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From what I've read medication is rarely a sufficient treatment for ADD stuff. It's certain life-long skills and behaviors you learn to cope with it. If you have a laptop or smartphone you can use it to write down and prioritize all the stuff you need to do for the day or week and month and check off when you complete something and you can see what else you need to do and keep track of how long stuff takes you and at the end of the week or month see how much stuff you managed to complete. You can break up studying into 25mins interval alternated with 25mins of something more stimulating or rest or distraction. You can play music and TV in the background or sit somewhere where there's lots of people when you study-- a lot of ADHD people need MORE stimulation and distraction to make them concentrate. There's ways you can procrastinate better like read a novel or a news article about the subject you're studying when you're not able to do the mundane stuff. You should search on the net for stuff like this.

As for forgetfullness you can scan assignment papers and notes into your computer to have a central place to store them and a laptop can easily make voice and video recordings of your lectures. You could just buy a bunch of disposable pens and stuff and only walk out with your student ID and enough cash you need for the day --don't carry credit cards or a wallet any other stuff on you unless you really need it that day.

> but....im gonna branch off on subject that i have talked about before....you know spirit relm....i occatonally will get these images, maybe its just imagination, but get messages on what to do....where i put stuff....its like they see me and know im a mess, and i do get help from the spirit relm....but to be specific...lucifer is in my thoughts, and its not a bad tormenting feeling, i just get this message i don't have to be afraid anymore....anyways, that really sounds like a bunch of crock....maybe it is.
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Sometimes people's internal cognitive processes can be very intense and verbally confrontational leading to the feeling that there's like a 2nd mind inside yours -- it happens a lot in Asperger's -- and can mistakenly lead to diagnoses of psychosis. There's nothing inside of you that isn't your own person though. It just sounds different for different people.

> but anways...no medication is going to curse this....when iwas on vyvanse 140mg the highest strength of an amphetamine....i still did things, maybe i was more focused and motivated, but still i was a mess...amphetamines usally make me mean to people when they critize me, when i was working for my brother...i would do things stupid, he would get mad....but i would get mean and cold and say things i can't believe i said back him, stimulants paticually amphetamines make me confident but vary cold. I'm usally a warm hearted person who cares too much about things...
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rj I've asked you this before but why are you on such heavy doses of Prozac and Zyprexa? Those drugs are among the worst apathy- and andhedonia-inducing drugs known. People like us have a problem with our brain's dopamine function leading to severe understimulation and problems with attention. I can't imagine struggling with ADHD on top of taking those two drugs. What exactly are you treating with those two?

Like I told you before I think one thing you and your doctor should seriously consider is withdrawing from all your meds and starting fresh. You can't use psych meds as a full-spectrum weapon against everything that's wrong with you. If you're able to cope with the ADHD and pass your college classes and hold down a job you might make progress with your depression and everything else. You can move out to your own place and that alone would have a huge positive effect on your mental health.

C-PTSD: social phobia, major depression, dissociation. 20 yrs duration.
Asperger's Syndrome.
Currently: 150mg amitriptyline single dose at night. 75mg Lyrica occasionally.
Significantly improving.

Re: forgetting to do things...humilating » rjlockhart37

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