Posted by rjlockhart37 on January 3, 2013, at 22:19:40
In reply to Re: Placebo?, posted by Meatwood_Flack on January 2, 2013, at 21:39:32
first thing i have to say....spice, or maryj's i smoked maryjay at a friend house one time....thinking it would ease me off...and make me socialble, the worst happened......after smoking maybe the 4th puff...i got real lightheaded, and then got a feeling like i was losing reality...or kinda like that feeling when your going to sleep into dreamland...that's what happpened, and my thoughts started making no sense, riddle like thinking, and then my body released tons of adrenaline because its the flight fight response when something unknown happens in the body or the mind. I stayed like that....for 2 hours, i had to lock myself in a bathroom, and keep trying to keep myself with reality.....and i thought lucifer was going to take over my body....just crazy sh*t...it wore off...and big relief....but those wierd thoughts stayed with me even after I smoked it. So spice...i smoke spice one time but not enoght to get an effect, its not legal here in texas anymore...i smoked i think last year bored....so psychedelic, or ... marianua stuff can alter thinking into a new wierd like thought...you think things you never thought before, and then they stay with you even after your sober. Try to do something like erase all that memory of suicide...sadness, just try to undo it, think of something tha will block it from popping up...
but to your childhood days....yea i wasnt much of a brilliant mind....i was pretty bad on tests...and below average on SAT and TAAS test...so i was on the opposite end of smart and dumb...i was the dumb end...lol....i always loved music, listen to radio heard tunes and then started using them to visualize a life fantasy of being a big shot, all these pipedreams...usally when i listen to music today i always think of life situation, or fantasy....and listen the song over and over again until i get tired of it...lol had a tune in my head while a walked around the mall tryin to show off....dumb stuff...
music is like a creativity thing....hs lots of forms, lots of emotions, and can be created from anything....even from nothing.
The thing is....and i should be doing this too....is to redo, map out the thoughts, and put into sections to make it understandable, then work with mind change...change beliefs, change ... ideas, expectations, and change the view of shame. That really could make things better...prozac and all the SSRI drugs don't make those deep cases of depression ... someone thinking of a grey buiding that's abandoned...gloomy, dark, and vary heavy sadness. Medication can't change that mindset, it has to changed in the mind.
block or even run over the negative stuff of being inferior. I feel inferior all the time....the worst thing that can happen to me is acting superior to others and then do something so incredibly stupid....people just look and laugh.
Maybe...start having a glass of wine...not alot but maybe something to at least take care of this for a while, until medication changes can happen. I think some kinda of benzo would help....temazepam is good but its only for sleep. Nuerontin....yes ask your doctor about that...that's good for nerves and mood.
Anything else happen....just pretend im Oprah. lol...talk therapy really can help getting things out....
r
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false beliefs
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1034506
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121231/msgs/1034614.html