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Re: med update... » phidippus

Posted by b2chica on October 30, 2012, at 15:00:18

In reply to Re: med update... » b2chica, posted by phidippus on October 30, 2012, at 13:49:03

> >i have klonopin at home from failed trial. i got very very angry and aggitated with it.
>
> That's called a paradoxical reaction. You can have them with any benzo. I experienced it with Xanax.

thank you. good to know.

> >"...to die to die to die..."
>
> Those are some very obsessive thoughts you are having about death. Would you say you are suicidal?

yes very


> The Pristiq should be helping with that kind of symptom. MAybe its time to stop it. Did you talk to your doctor about the 'suicidal' thoughts you are having?

i txt'd him this morning i still haven't heard anything. i started to txt him again and canceled txt. i dont know what to say.
how to say it.
i want to copy what i said here on txt but too long.
i'm so full of energy. so full of self-disdain.i curl with the thought of letting it out. its like a shroud of death is cloaking me.
its seduction is so tempting...
to breathe easy after death comes, i want for peace of mind.
i think i'm ready for an ugly death, inorder to gain peace of mind. i've survived and fought this long, i will try to continue, but i hear it say that its only a matter of time. the time will come when i can no longer fight off the lure of sweet death.


"What is madness, but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance.
The day is on Fire, and i know the purity of pure despair."
Theodore Roethke


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poster:b2chica thread:1030193
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20121029/msgs/1030344.html