Posted by floatingbridge on July 27, 2011, at 14:34:16
In reply to Re: calling ZYPREXA » floatingbridge, posted by morgan miller on July 27, 2011, at 6:12:47
Morgan, I do look at my treatment history. Dexidrine was amazing. I suspect it wrecked my health (which was already diving due to chronic PTSD and depression) but it flipped the lights on. However, I will also never take it again.
Since recovery and rerecovery is a process of continual re-evaluation, I have currently decided that no ssri nor snri has served me. Notice the use of I statements here. This is not prescriptive. Those two agents created a deep instability in my mood. So let me update you about my current thoughts
on my initial ssri. That and they drained the joy out of my own personal life. No deep laughter, no orgasm, pointless crying for no reason. At least now, when I cry, I have a reason.Polypharmacy for myself is completely out of the question.
My new (thank god good) shrink suggested an augment if
things don't speed up, and I said no. Flatly no. And you know what he said? He actually agreed. He was just trying to his job, but when I said I am done having my meds stacked like jets over JFK airport, he was very cool about it.
And kinda' sad and sober. To his credit, he's just doing the best he can with his science, and he very clearly sees the limits. No drug reps. No piles of samples. He went straight
to the mildest maoi because I said snri's make me worse. Clearly he reads and is aware that snri's are *theoretically* implicated in complicated mood issues.And just so you know that I hear you and respect your advice, I told my old pdoc to f*ck off with his %100 remission
rate. I even say forget %70 in my case. I'll settle for %50 as
long as I can find a way to live that is worthwhile. I am open to being surprised, though. %70 would be happily accepted
here.How many times do I need to remind you, yes to:
Yoga
Therapy
Exercise
Breathing
Dbt skills
Socialization
Fish oil
Whole foodsI have a child. Do you know that the greatest taboo in the United States is to be a mother with chronic depression? Yeah. I break taboos every f*ck*ng day of my life. What else is taboo in this country? Depression (unless it's called feeling blue). Anxiety is well, *just* anxiety. How many times per day can someone feel the fear and do it anyway? Guess that varies from person to person. Being afraid and being
vulnerable is taboo. Having PTSD. No matter what press PTSD gets, everyone is haunted by the 'why me' thing? And if some people know how frightened a person is, well it makes them angry or
worse. Some people will say *it's only PTSD. You don't need any medication. In fact, I'm gonna take away every medication you have because all addicts have PTSD, and if you have PTSD, then you are an addict at heart, too.*That's my recovery to date. So yes I hear you. Yes, I look at my treatment history. Please stop asking me to do that, okay? I can hear you just fine. In fact, I now take lemon balm with my GABA--because of you.
You have and continue to be an important voice for me on babble. Thank you for being Morgan.
fb
> FB, look at your medication history, where has it gotten you? Didn't you say one time that you wish you had just stuck with the SSRI that worked o.k. for you. I realize this may have been your doing and not the doctor, but I'm just trying to make the point that the medication merri-go-round and this out of control polypharmacy, in the absence of a more integrative approach, seems to be making recovery harder for many people. Maybe it works for some, like Scott, but I don't know of many people doing very well that take some crazy cocktail of meds. I hear more about side effects than benefits. I'm not saying polypharmacy never works, I just believe it is used all too often, and again, in the absence of a more integrative approach-proper exercise, therapy(group is best!), diet(paleo!), supplements(amino acids/fish oil/magnesium/vitamin D3), the right amount of support(actually, most have zero control over this, which is sad), yoga, meditation, and working hard to socialize and find some kind of easy job that is somewhat enjoyable(if the person has not been working for a while and can work). Oh, and time!!! We are often too much in a rush to stack up the drugs in an attempt to feel better. We also often think we need to solve everything with drugs, we start thinking that drugs are the only way to manage symptoms. I always hear about wanting to reach full remission using medication. What ever happened to getting 70 percent relief, then working hard at other things to get the other 30 percent? Or, just dealing with the other 30 percent, because in my opinion, 70 percent is pretty damn good.
>
> Morgan
poster:floatingbridge
thread:991921
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110714/msgs/992033.html