Posted by morgan miller on November 19, 2010, at 12:24:01
In reply to Re: I can't take it anymore! **warn SI triggers**, posted by floatingbridge on November 18, 2010, at 20:08:15
Hey FB, don't want to hijack the thread, but maybe it's pertinent to the discussion. I am starting to be able to relate to long term suffering.
-Had a major mixed episode 2 years ago-been depressed and experienced periods of mixed mania ever since.
-Have done some things to myself that may have caused me to have a certain level of dysfunction and discomfort that I'm not sure I will ever be able to deal with very well. Getting older was going to be hard enough for me. I'm 37.
-I've gone through 11 different medications in 3 years- I suspect that my brain has suffered and I may have a harder time treating my anxiety, depression, and brain/physiological function after some of these trial.
-I don't have the money to do all the things I need to do to recovery some physically. I also don't have the money to see the doctors I may have to see to get to the bottom of what may be going on with me aside from just medication/depression/bipolar.
-Something likely is going on with me, at least partially unrelated to depression, medication, bipolar. The fatigue, muscle stiffness and joint stiffness, is not the type one experiences as a result of depression. The things I'm experiencing cannot even be explained by the injuries and trauma(partially resulting from surgeries). I do think, the mixed episodes, chronic depression, and medication trials, traumatized me enough to possibly trigger whatever may be going on with meSorry, I meant to make this post shorter. Anyway, I'm kinda one of those "lust for life" people. If I can't feel this lust and act on it, there really is no such thing as life. There are so many things I still want to do, and I fear I will never get my shot at them. Life is just too damn short.
Morgan
poster:morgan miller
thread:970667
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101117/msgs/970757.html