Posted by Maxime on November 16, 2010, at 18:01:54
In reply to Re: FML!!!! *trigger about self injury* » maxime, posted by SLS on November 16, 2010, at 5:57:12
> Do you believe that you deserve the illness that compelled you to act in this way?
>
> I am curious to see how you reply to this question.
>
>
> - ScottHi Scott, this is so hard to answer. In the 1990s I was a victim of a ramdom act violence. I was raped and beaten beyond recognition. I still have not fully dealt with what happened and I suffer from PSTD. When I received a BabbleMail from someone saying that their husband was very mad with me and wanted to Babble Mail me, I freaked out! Flashbacks to the event. Zoned out and cut myself.
I do feel responsible for what happened to me that dark night in the 1990s. I was walking in a dark and secluded area. I should have known better than to walk in an area like that. If I hadn't been there, I would not have been raped and beaten.
Now I have PSTD and for I don't feel responsible for that. I can't. Even though I feel responsible for the event that caused the PSTD in the first place.
Does any of this make sense because it sounds confusing to me.
Maxie
Bipolar Type 2, ED-NOS, Self-hatred
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Being happy doesn´t mean the pain is gone. you just bury it deeper.
poster:Maxime
thread:970034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101107/msgs/970497.html