Posted by floatingbridge on October 27, 2010, at 1:47:50
As I see it, a recurring irritant on PB is not simply disagreements in treatment approaches, but on the manner in which the supposed disagreeable advice is given.
What if the PB civility's 'I' statements and mutual respect were applied to giving advice as well? (Whoa. I am not suggesting adding rules.) 'I have read/ heard this', or 'I have tried/experienced this' or just freely licensed intuition and creative thinking stated as such is so
much easier for me to hear. In the case of disagreements regarding treatment, I am less likely to feel personal irritation or concern for another poster's welfare if
they are given advice I disagree with.I dislike being told, when I am sick,
depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed,
(often all at once), that 'anyone with a
brain could see that blah blah'. Or if I
'really wanted to get well,' I'd ______.In this light, I see habits of speech
obscuring the intent of extending a helping hand to someone in distress, and this is what seems to be at the heart of most advice given here.To make it short, the pb civility
requirement of 'I' statements which make self-ownership of feelings clear
also supports mutual respect when applied to giving advice. Who knows
what or how much from where is very important, yet secondary to admitting one's subjectivity in giving advice. Mutual respect shown through our posts
supports self-authority, a wonderful quality to own and share with another person who finds themselves here.MDD currently controlled. C-ptsd and comorbid health concerns. Chronic fatigue.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:967106
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20101020/msgs/967106.html